Thank you for this week鈥檚 question 
2锔忊儯 The question: Household responsibilities and care. Its the woman who does all or almost all the house work. How are things structured in your home?
Thinking through this question my mind took me back to when I was growing up as a child among other of my siblings until into my young teenage age, my mother practically was doing all the house work in the house because my father as a businessman leaves the house in the morning and comes back in the evening, when business hours are over.
And not that my mother was a full time house wife because I see her then also take some food stuffs items to the open market place where fresh farm produce and foods stuffs are sold. But she wakes up early in the morning to prepare food for everyone, get us ready for school and after we are gone, she will set to tidy and arrange the necessary areas in the house , do some laundry after which she will prepare to take her goods to the market for sale.
And until I became a proper teenager, my mother was constantly taking care of the house chore and then she started teaching we the children of how to cook the meals, clean the house and put things in order, send us to some errands out of the house and every other things that she feels we need to have an idea of doing. In fact, as time passes by and before I went to college, I practically took over the kitchen from my mother. Helping with cooking and cleaning. All she needed to do is just buy the food stuffs and ingredients.
But before this time, my mother never complained for a day on why should she be the only one practically doing all the chores in the house. Or maybe because my father as the man of the house is the one paying all the necessary bills 馃挼 and never ask my mother to pay any bill. It might also be because his business does not give him time to involve in other things like the house work. These are refractions from my days as a young teenage girl 馃懅.
But I think time and change has shifted many things in this recent times with how the world 馃寧 is evolving. My husband and I does not share the house work because we see ourselves as two people with one mindset. We believe in a relationship that brings peace of mind which is why we attend to the house work equally. We don鈥檛 have to say laundry is for you or for me, so he can do the laundry 馃Ш as many times as possible and can also cook if am not available to make food for the house, especially for my girls before they left for college.
What I do most importantly is to make sure to make a full pot of sauce (stew) and soup (vegetable) every weekend so we can refrigerate them. So its always easy when he comes back before me to simply boil rice or stir semolina for dinner. Or at the same time fry some plantains for a bowl 馃ィ of oatmeal for breakfast. Shopping 馃洅 is what we can do together or individually depending work schedules. So chores are not divided because we see it as not necessary. We can decide to clean the house once every weekend since the children are grown and in school.
I see what mattered most in relationships and marriages as couples understanding each other, because with understanding brings peace of mind. We are the one that will make things work perfectly the way we choose to. Although we have individual personalities which is why sometimes things does not work out for couples hence we experience all kinds of attitude from our spouse. In situations like this, house chores should properly be shared especially where finances are shared.
However, since both my husband and I still works , its very practical we arrange house chores the way it will suit us as working couples and as this will help us with peace of mind. And if in any way I stooped working some day, I will see the house chore as one responsibility I will take on because of all I learnt from my mother especially if my husband works more to cover the bills 馃挼.I desire peace of mind to be happy 馃槉 to the end and its always in our hands to make it happen.
Best Regards Ladies 鉂わ笍
