Before now I used to think that strength was about muscles, about how loud a man can shout or about who wins the argument every time.
And one moment change everything later on when my wife taught me that I was wrong totally.
Sometimes, last year was hard for us when we relocated to a new environment and estate in Enugu. My business was slow, school fees was coming, rent was coming, and I was carrying all the frustration in my face. I would come home and keep quiet. I thought I was being strong by not complaining.
One evening, I snapped. I shouted over small food matter. She did not shout back.
She just looked at me, went to the kitchen, brought my food, and said, David my love, eat your food first and be satisfied, take your bath and we will talk after.
I exclaimed in a low tone, chai and I was completely ashamed of myself.
That night she told me, you are not a bad man, you are just tired. But if you break down, we all break down. So let me carry this small one for you.
That was when I understood what strength means for a woman at home.
My wife's strength is not loud or muscular but it is very deep.
She can be hurt and still cook with a smiling face.
She can be tired and still bathe the children and do the remaining house chores.
She can be offended and still say good morning first so peace can return to our home.
She can cry in the bathroom and come out smiling so the house will not be heavy for everyone.
Many men do not see it. We think because she did not shout, she did not feel it. But she felt everything but just chose restoration over reaction.
The second lesson she taught me was that forgiveness is not weakness, but it is power.
We had a big quarrel that left the house quiet for days. The kind of quiet where children don't play loudly. I was waiting for her to come and apologize, because in my mind, I was right.
She came on the second night, held my hand and said, I am sorry for how I spoke to you. I was hurt, but I should have spoken better. Let us not sleep like enemies.
She was not even the one who started it. But she ended it.
Since then, I learned that the strongest person in the house is not the one who wins the fight, but the one who brings peace back to the house.
I am a man, but I am writing this in Ladies of Hive because I want to celebrate women properly.
If you have a woman at home who forgives quickly, who restores peace, who is strong even when she is soft please and please, do not take her for granted. Thank her always and help her when needs be.
My wife taught me that a real woman does not destroy her home to prove a point. She builds it with forgiveness, with patience, with prayers whispered when everyone is sleeping.
That is strength and I am still learning it.
To every ladies reading this, tell us what is that one moment you had to be the strong one for your home, even when you were tired yourself?
I want to read and celebrate you in the comments.