"To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." - Confucius
That's an amazing thought... We all have a work to accomplish within the home... Everything I do, will reflect on my children, and my children's actions, in turn, will reflect on their children, and society will reap the consequences, good or bad!
I once heard a rather funny conversation while sitting at a dinner table. There we're a few couples around the table talking about the size of families they desired. One of the couples, I'll call them Dan and Joan, had stated that they wanted a large family... They said they would be happy if they had at least 6 children. Another couple, I'll call them Paul and Susan, said that seemed absolutely ridiculous...
At this point, my ears tuned in. Paul and Susan, said that it was crazy to bring so many children into this world when there is already so much chaos that exists from too many people inhabiting it. They went on to talk about hunger, pollution, poverty, crime, among a few other very passionate and somewhat overly-heated remarks!
Dan simply smiled at Paul and Shelly, and said, "I don't know what your children will be doing, but my 6 plus kids will be the ones solving all those other problems!"
I smiled at that thought, and let the point sink in... Dan and Joan, had a purpose... Their purpose was the family.
I personally have no idea how many children ClairAnn and I will have, but regardless the quantity, I agree with Dan and Joan... It's all about the quality!
The more I am around my child, the more I realize, she really wants is more time with daddy. This can be hard for me, as often, I am absorbed in the process of building my business, and ultimately, creating a lifestyle that will allow more daddy time.
My child, however, has no understanding that daddy is putting in more time now, so he can have more time with she later. Their understanding of time revolves more on the basis of "Well what do I have now?"
It's hard to expect much more from a child whose reply to your statement of, "I'll be home in an hour to spend more time with you", is "Daddy, how much time is an hour?"
Occasionally, I'll take my 3 year old to work with me. She feels so important when I do this! I teach her all about the job, what kind of assignments I give to each of my sub-contractors, and ask her to figure out what we need to do next. She feels like she's quite the expert on building homes.
The other day, I had scheduled to get a little bit dirty on the job... It was no place for a 3 year old. When I left, she asked if she could go to work with me, I said, " Today's work is really hard, It's probably not the best day for you to come... maybe tomorrow!"
She got a really determined look on her face, walked right up to me and said, "Daddy, I promise I will do a really good job today! I know I can do it!"
My heart dropped... I didn't want to show her that I didn't believe in her... So, I decided to be a little less productive for the next hour and take her to work with me...
These sacrifices are small, but I know they are important to her.
With that said, I'm not giving myself any daddy of the year awards. I could be spending a lot more quality time with my girl... She needs to know I value her above everything else in my life... She needs to know how incredible and capable she really is... She needs a constant belief system to fall-back on whenever she doubt themselves... She needs to know that her happiness in life is why I am doing everything I do!
So I'm going to start out with a simple habit to attain for now... Some dates a week with my girl for some good one-on-one time with her daddy.
Maybe if I do this right, I won't have to worry so much, when she's teenager, about whether she knows how boys are supposed to treat her... and I can keep my shotgun in the attic!