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Chapter 1: First contact
That day, the sun shone weakly, as if sad. I assumed it might have wanted to make everyone feel the same way by denying the warmth of its rays. In the meantime, I decided to escape momentarily by distracting my attention with what was around me. Glancing around, I swore that every corner offered all kinds of sensations. It was a shame not to indulge in at least one of them; unfortunately, time, that indestructible tyrant, immediately claimed me.
I sat for a moment as if that would give me back the energy I no longer had. The last month had been exhausting. I was sleepless, consumed by a world of work, and, to top it all off, I was late for my first class. I finally arrived and asked to be admitted, the only response being a slam of the door almost in my face.
It was the final straw. The patience that had always characterized me reached its limit.
The day got worse as it went on and seemed to be coming to an end. I discerned my future; I had the weekend all to myself. I was free, no commitments, and even though my car was broken down, all I wanted was to go straight home. Of course, my bad luck wouldn't let me down. I couldn't find my wallet, I felt really bad, couldn't even afford the bus fare, and then I began my long journey, not entirely resigned, but I had no choice.
When I got home, I knocked, and no one was there. They'd probably gone out to see Grandpa. I just wanted to lock myself in my room and sleep until I got bored of bed. Surely everyone would be back by dinnertime. When I was ready to go to bed, the doorbell rang. "I won't go, I'm not interested." They knocked two more times.
"Don't you realize no one's going to answer the door?" Then, there was finally silence, when I was beginning to lose myself in my reverie, I heard voices, it was my sister, calling me.
"They're looking for you. Hurry downstairs. I have to go out. I just came to get Grandma's purse. She left it yesterday and needs her prescription. As soon as you're done, you can catch up with us. Okay, if you want."
I didn't hear anything else, just a few murmurs. "Who was it?" "Oh, right? Jacobo, my best and most reckless friend, for God's sake! He couldn't pick me up at school? But he'll see what's waiting for him when he's in front of me. I'll tell you..." I was grumbling under my breath as I went down the stairs, buttoning my shirt, and that's when I saw her. She was beautiful.
I was so impressed. I simply couldn't stop looking at her; I took in every detail of her, especially those intense eyes with their sweet expression. Long, wavy brown hair framed her face.
On the surface, I was calm, but the reality was different. My chaotic insides began to tear me apart mercilessly while an uncontrollable impulse invaded me. It was unknown. I just felt as if my body were falling into an abyss, unable to perceive anything, much less hear what my mind was desperately commanding. I knew I had to talk to her. It was useless. Not a sound came out of my mouth, and I stood there, motionless, trying to hide the color rising in my face as much as possible.
In a matter of seconds, a multitude of thoughts crowded into my head. She spoke to break the silence; I guess my expression wasn't entirely trustworthy. She handed me my wallet, staring at me intently.
"I found it. I wanted to give it to you right away, that's why I came here. I thought you'd be a little worried. I lost mine once, and everything I did to get my credentials replaced was a real ordeal."
I listened. I couldn't speak. Frozen by that feeling of butterflies in my stomach that kept getting worse and worse. What was someone like that doing in front of me in my living room? I couldn't believe it. I felt terribly stunned. She suddenly looked embarrassed, hesitated a little, and said, "Well, that was all. I don't want to bother you anymore. I'm really sorry for showing up here and invading your privacy. It's clear you didn't like it at all. Well, goodbye, and sorry again."
She left, just walked away. I had to stop her, or maybe I'd regret it later.
"No... don't go, please," I heard myself say, as if I wasn't the one speaking. I was so nervous I was stuttering. "I... I'm asking you, ah... um... n... please, that was very kind of you. You shouldn't have gotten so upset."
I looked down, praying for the ground to open up and swallow me. I must have looked so pathetic.
"Forget it, it's no bother. Well, it's nice to meet you. My name is Monica."
"Great, ah... nice to meet you. I'm..."
"Luca. Yes, I know, remember your wallet..."
We laughed, and everything went as it should. We talked about everything. She told me her age. She was a year older than me. She told me her mother had lived here until she got married and they had to move because of her husband's job. That they had returned because her father died a couple of years ago and her mother wanted to get away from everything that would remind her of that, that things had improved a lot since they had arrived, plus many more descriptions of the people, the place, and whatnot.
I just listened to her attentively. I felt so good, I would have given anything for her to stay a little longer, but she couldn't. Before we knew it, it was almost seven. Her mother must have been worried, because it took longer than she had thought.
We agreed to leave on Saturday. I arrived for her at 4. We would be together all afternoon again. We strolled, I showed her my favorite spots, and without further ado, I'd told her every detail about myself. It was as if there was a strong bond between us. I'd never felt anything like this for any woman. At 17, I was a complete novice in that field. The more subtle would call me shy; most would say ignorant. Yes, I'd met girls, but getting up close and personal with them and going out was another matter entirely. I'd never before had the desire to do so that I felt when I met her.
The hours flew by, and soon we were back in front of her door. We said our goodbyes. I walked a few steps, moving away with great regret. Although we had agreed to go out again, the days until we would see each other again seemed endless. I wished they would vanish immediately, I thought.
I didn't know what to do. It was so obvious my nerves were eating me up. I took a deep breath. I had to calm down, I told myself a thousand times. Afterwards, it was like being in a movie.
We exchanged knowing glances. Gently taking her hand, I moved a few inches closer to her face. She smiled, closing the minimal distance between us. I could feel the touch of her lips as they tenderly caressed mine. For my part, I nervously ran my hands over hers, biting them lightly. Then I slowly moved away, still staring at her, as if I wanted to immortalize that moment. Only a few seconds had passed, but it seemed like an eternity. I noticed the silence between us was crushing, interrupted only by the strong beating of my heart.
I just stared at her. What should happen now? It was as if I were about to fall, as if a crowd were crashing against me again and again, making me lose my balance. She noticed my reaction, so she hugged me. She was warm, soft. I shared not only her embrace but also that essence of hers that I sensed from the moment we met. I wrapped her in my arms, staring at her intently as if trying to scrutinize her thoughts through those eyes, and I kissed her again. I felt tranquility return to me, accompanied by a feeling that left no room for anything else in my soul.
I turned around. I was walking away, having already reached the porch of the house when I heard her voice. When I looked back, she was right behind me.
That moment undoubtedly marked a before and after in my life. I have no words to describe everything it provoked. There was simply no room for reason anymore. I could only feel an emotion, immense, indescribable, that had taken over every fiber of my being, turning me into someone else, totally vulnerable to her desires. Nothing mattered to me, only her. I thought I could have remained like this forever. It was hard to wake up to reality and move away; the goodbye hurt a lot, but thanks to the gift of that afternoon, I could tolerate her absence a little longer.
it will continue...
Vacíos
ÈL
Capitulo 1: ENCUENTRO
Ese día, el sol brillaba débilmente como si estuviera triste. Supuse que tal vez deseaba hacer sentir lo mismo a todos al negar la tibieza de sus rayos. Mientras tanto decidí escapar momentáneamente distrayendo mi atención en lo que había alrededor. Al echar un vistazo juraría que en cada rincón se podía descubrir todo tipo de sensaciones. Era una lástima no abandonarme, por lo menos, a una de ellas, por desgracia el tiempo, ese tirano indestructible, me reclamaba de inmediato.
Me senté un momento como si eso me fuese a devolver la energía que ya no tenía. El último mes fue desgastante. Me encontraba desvelado, consumido por un mundo de trabajo y para terminar iba tarde a mi primera clase. Al fin llegué y solicité entrar, la única respuesta un portazo casi en la cara. Fue la gota que derramó el vaso. La paciencia que siempre me había caracterizado llegó a un límite.
El día se puso peor conforme transcurría y al parecer iba llegando a su fin. Distinguí mi futuro, tenía el fin de semana sólo para mí. Era libre, nada de compromisos, aunque mi auto estaba descompuesto, lo único que deseaba era ir directo a casa. Claro mi mala suerte no quería abandonarme. No encontré mi cartera, me puse muy mal, no podía ni siquiera pagar el bus, acto seguido empecé mi largo trayecto, no del todo resignado, sin embargo no tenía opción.
Cuando llegué a casa, llamé, no había nadie. Seguro habían salido a ver al abuelo. Sólo deseaba encerrarme en mi cuarto y dormir hasta que me aburriera de la cama, total seguro todos regresarían hasta la hora de cenar. Cuando estaba listo para acostarme el timbre sonó. No iré, no estoy interesado, tocaron dos veces más.
-¿Qué no se dan cuenta que nadie va abrir la puerta? Entonces, hubo por fin silencio, cuando empezaba a perderme en mi ensueño, escuché voces, era mi hermana, me llamaba.
No escuché más, sólo algunos murmullos, ¿quién era? Ah ya, seguro Jacobo, mi mejor y más imprudente amigo, ¡por Dios! ¿Qué no pudo buscarme en la escuela? Pero ya verá lo que le espera en cuanto lo tenga enfrente, le voy a decir… Refunfuñaba entre dientes al ir por las escaleras, abrochando mi camisa y fue entonces cuando la vi. Era hermosa.
Me impresionó muchísimo. Simplemente, no podía dejar de mirarla, me fijé en cada detalle de su persona sobre todo en esos intensos ojos dueños de una expresión dulce. Un largo cabello, castaño y ondulado enmarcaba su rostro.
En apariencia estaba calmado pero la realidad era otra. Mi interior, caótico, comenzó a despedazarme sin piedad mientras que un impulso irrefrenable me invadía. Era desconocido. Sólo sentí como si mi cuerpo estuviera cayendo en un abismo, incapaz de percibir nada, mucho menos escuchar lo que le ordenaba desesperadamente mi mente. Tenía claro que debía hablarle. Inútil. Ningún sonido salió de mi boca y me quedé ahí, inmóvil intentando disimular en lo posible que se me subían los colores al rostro.
En cuestión de segundos, un montón de pensamientos se agolparon en mi cabeza. Ella habló para romper el silencio, supongo que mi expresión no era del todo confiable. Me entregó mi cartera mirándome fijamente.
-No… no t…te vayas, por favor- me oí decir como si no fuera yo el que estuviera articulando palabra, estaba tan nervioso que tartamudeaba- t…te lo pido, ah…ehm… n…por favor, fue muy amable de tu parte. No debiste molestarte tanto.
Baje la mirada, supliqué que la tierra se abriera y me tragará. Seguro me veía tan patético.
Di la vuelta. Me alejaba, ya había llegado al pórtico de la casa cuando escuché su voz. Al volver la vista, estaba justo detrás de mí. No sabía qué hacer. Era tan evidente que los nervios me estaban devorando. Respiré profundo. Tenía que tranquilizarme, me repetía una y mil veces. Después fue como estar en una película.
Intercambiamos miradas como cómplices. Tomando su mano con delicadeza me aproximé a escasos centímetros de su rostro. Ella sonrió y rompió la distancia mínima que nos separaba. Pude sentir el roce de sus labios que acariciaron los míos con ternura. Por mi parte recorrí nervioso los suyos mordiéndolos ligeramente, después con lentitud me alejé, sin dejar de verla, como si deseara inmortalizar ese instante. Sólo habían pasado unos segundos de aquello pero parecía una eternidad. Noté que el silencio entre nosotros era aplastante sólo interrumpido por los fuertes latidos de mi corazón.
Me limité a mirarla. ¿Qué debía pasar ahora? Era como si estuviera a punto de caer, como si una multitud chocara una y otra vez contra mí haciéndome perder la estabilidad de mi cuerpo. Se percató de mi reacción, entonces me estrechó. Era cálida, suave. No sólo compartí su abrazo sino también esa esencia tan suya que percibí desde el mismo instante en que nos conocimos. También la envolví en mis brazos, viéndola fijamente como en un intento de escudriñar sus pensamientos a través de esos ojos, la besé de nuevo. Sentí como la tranquilidad volvió a mí, acompañada de un sentimiento que no dejó espacio para nada más en mi alma.
Indudablemente ese minuto marcó un antes y un después en mi vida. No tengo palabras para detallar todo lo que provocó. Simplemente, ya no existía cabida para la razón. Sólo podía sentir una emoción, inmensa, indescriptible que se había apoderado de cada fibra de mi ser convirtiéndome en alguien más, totalmente vulnerable a sus deseos. Nada me importaba, sólo ella. Creí que podría haber permanecido así por siempre. Fue duro despertar a la realidad y apartarme, la despedida dolió mucho pero gracias al regalo de aquella tarde podría tolerar un poco más su ausencia.
Continuará...
