Episode 13
Scene 1
It’s been two days since Katia’s visit with Tommy. White Hat has finally decided to allow her deeper into his life, inviting her over to his mediocre apartment to sip on some high quality tequila. White Hat is pacing around, second guessing his decision.
Cobra: You shouldn’t be so nervous.
White Hat: I can’t help it. Oh, and I almost forgot, don’t talk to me while she’s here.
Cobra (disappointed): I can’t meet her?
White Hat: No.
Cobra: Why not?
White Hat: Just cuz I’m letting her see where I live doesn’t mean I’m gonna let her in on everything. I’ve only known her a few weeks.
There’s a loud, obnoxious knock at the door, startling White Hat.
White Hat: Ugh, she does the cop knock.
Cobra: The what?
White Hat (walking to door): Nothing. Now go.
Cobra: Can I listen?
White Hat: No!
White Hat opens the door.
White Hat: Why did you do the cop knock?
Katia: The what?
White Hat: Never mind. Come in.
They walk into the sparsely furnished living room.
Katia: Nice place.
White Hat: Thanks.
Katia: I expected it to be bigger.
White Hat: What every guy loves to hear.
Katia giggles. White Hat pours high quality tequila in deceptively cheap, good looking glasses.
Katia: So this is where the magic happens?
White Hat (smirks): Yes, all sorts of magic here.
Katia: What nest of bureau rats is next on your list?
White Hat (coy): I’m not sure what you mean.
Katia: You’re the one causing chaos at BORE.
White Hat: I can neither confirm nor deny that. (gulps tequila, pours more)
Katia: But Tommy told me.
White Hat: Number one, he wouldn’t do that. And number two, do you want me to be that guy?
Katia (grinning): Maybe.
White Hat: I see…
Katia: So where’s Cobra?
Cobra: Right here!
White Hat (fuming): I told you not to listen!
Cobra: She already knew. Stop lying to yourself and chill out.
White Hat (muttering): An AI telling me to chill out. (gulps more tequila)
Katia: Good advice. Hello, Cobra.
Cobra: Hi Katia. Nice to formally meet you.
Katia: So Kai, you didn’t answer my question. What bureau rats are next?
Kai: I’m laying low right now. DOCRAP is investigating Cobra.
Meanwhile, at the Department Of Computers, Radios, and Phones (DOCRAP), the small team of nerds tasked with investigating Cobra, are in a cold, dark room that holds one of Cobra’s processing centers. One of them is drinking coffee.
Kyle (sips coffee): Why does it have to be so cold in here?
Irene: So Cobra doesn’t overheat. (condescending) Are you sure you worked at Googapplezon?
Irwin: Oooo, low blow.
Kyle sips again.
Irwin: You’re not supposed to be drinking coffee in here anyway.
Kyle: How do you know that?
Irene (dark side eye): Cuz there’s a sign on the door that says ‘no food or drink allowed’. Don’t you read?
Irwin: Yeah, don’t you read? (slaps Kyle lightly on shoulder)
Kyle fumbles coffee, spills it all over Cobra. All of them freeze with mouths agape.
Irene (scornful): What have you two bumbling fools done now?!
Sparks jump from Cobra, and the room goes even darker.
Meanwhile, back at White Hat’s unimpressive apartment in a decent neighborhood…..
White Hat: I think Cobra actually kind of enjoys it.
Katia: Can an AI actually ‘enjoy’ anything?
White Hat: Sure it can. Isn’t that right, Cobra?
No response.
White Hat: Cobra? (pause) Huh, that’s never happened before.
Scene 2
The next day at DOCRAP, Mike Rack is meeting with Kyle, Irene, and Irwin.
Mike Rack: You three said you have an update for me?
Irene: Yes, sir. There’s actually good news and bad news.
Mike Rack: I’ll take the bad first.
Kyle grimaces.
Irene: Kyle spilled coffee on Cobra yesterday, frying one of its subsectors.
Mike Rack jumps out of his seat, furious. He appears to want to strangle Kyle. Kyle whines and steps backwards.
Irene: But wait! As much as I’d like to see you strangle Kyle, please listen to the good news before anything else. We might have found the initial problem with Cobra.
Mike Rack: I would love to know how coffee getting spilled on a multi-billion dollar AI helped solve the mystery.
Irwin (dumb, reassuring smile): Yes, sir.
Mike Rack: I wasn’t talking to you! Irene, you have passable social skills, so please continue.
Irene: So after the coffee spilled, sparks flew and it went dark. So after our initial panic, we hustled up some spare parts and our tool kits and got to work on repairs. We stayed up practically all night in that cold, tiny room.
Mike Rack: Spare me any words you might be using to inspire empathy. I have none for you.
Irene (grimace): Yes, sir. (pause) Ok, so we got that subsector of Cobra back online and ran diagnostics just a couple hours ago. And this is what turned up the possible answer to Cobra’s problems from the past few weeks. We saw that Cobra was having communication with one site outside of the BORE government complex.
Mike Rack: I thought Cobra couldn’t do that while we investigate.
Irene: That’s right. It’s not supposed to, but it is. What we think happened is that this outside communication was somehow being masked, but after the coffee incident, Cobra couldn’t hide it anymore.
Mike Rack: Was this a communication log, or in real time?
Irene: In real time.
Mike Rack (excited): Do you have an IP address?
Irene: No. But we still have a location.
Mike Rack: How is that possible?
Irene: Because whoever has been communicating with Cobra is masking their IP address. So what we did was cross-reference all of the similar IP addresses that would logically follow in a geographic area.
Mike Rack (confused): Wait. Ya lost me.
Irene: Basically, the masked IP address that Cobra is communicating with is the only dark spot within a quarter mile radius.
Mike Rack: Where?
Irene: Just 30 minutes from here.
Mike Rack: So all we have to do is send a bunch of cops door-to-door within a quarter mile radius to find this guy?
Kyle: How do you know it’s a guy, sir?
Mike Rack: Shutup, Kyle! It’s a figure of speech!
Irene: I think it should work, sir.
Mike Rack: This is amazing! Great work, Irene and Irwin! Kyle, you have the best dumb luck I’ve ever seen in my life! I’ll consider not firing you!
Kyle: Thank you, sir.
Irwin: Can we join the manhunt?
Mike Rack (laughing): What are you scrawny little nerds gonna do? (laughs louder, then contains himself) No, this is a job for the Fraternal League Of Police. I’m calling the FLOP now!
To be continued…..
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