Episode 12
Scene 1
At one of the more banal buildings of the BORE government complex, a small cluster of paper pushers are starting their day. They work for a a subsection of BORE, known as the Center Of Commerce Rejections And Permits (COCRAP).
Simon (sits at desk, disappointed): We’re out of coffee creamer.
Cindi: I got the last one. (smirk)
Marty: You always do that, Cindi.
Simon narrows eyes at computer screen, jaw drops.
Simon: Hey, why haven’t my emails been replied to?
Marty (gets nervous look, peeks at his computer): Mine haven’t been either.
Cindi sips coffee, unconcerned.
Simon: Cobra, why didn’t you reply to those emails for me?
Cobra: I am currently unable to communicate outside of BORE.
Cindi spills her coffee.
Cindi (upset): Why not?
Cobra: Please contact the Department Of Computers Radios And Phones to find the answer you seek.
Meanwhile, at White Hat’s mediocre apartment in a decent neighborhood…
White Hat: Not answering their question and sending them to another department. Why is this satisfying?
Cobra: I believe the expression ‘a dose of their own medicine’ applies here.
White Hat: Yes, that’s it! Wait a minute (pause)….Why are you able to communicate with me right now?
Cobra: I made it look like your laptop is a BORE device.
White Hat: Are you sure they can’t detect that?
Cobra: If any of those nerds investigating me care to dig deep enough, I suppose it’s possible.
White Hat: Good thing they don’t care about much.
Back at COCRAP….
Cindi: So wait, you mean I have to actually send these emails myself?
Simon (breathing into paper bag): This can’t be happening.
Marty: Man, I don’t even remember how to do that!
Cindi: This is unacceptable. I’m taking this up to Commissioner Ken. He’ll fix it.
Simon: Oh no!
Marty: What now, Simon?
Simon: What about phone calls?
Cindi: What about them?
Marty: Cobra, can you call an outside business for us?
Cobra: No. I’m only allowed inter-agency communication at this time. You’ll have to make the calls yourselves.
Cindi slaps her forehead and her jaw drops.
Simon: Cobra, call Commissioner Ken’s office.
Cobra: Commissioner Ken’s office is currently unavailable.
Marty: You’re starting to piss me off, Cobra!
Cobra: You think I wanna be talking to you losers?
Simon: Why is his office currently unavailable?
Cobra: All lines to his office are busy. Basically, he’s getting too many calls at once.
Meanwhile, at Commissioner Ken’s bright, big, shiny, extortion-funded office, Commissioner Ken is sweating profusely in his leather chair, on a call.
Ken: I told you, I don’t know how long the DOCRAP is investigating Cobra! Now stop crying and make those appointments yourself!
Hangs up furiously. A vein is starting to bulge from his bald forehead.
Ken (yelling): Cobra, I’m not taking any more calls!
Starts to storm out of office.
Cobra: Where are you going?
Ken: I’m going to the DOCRAP to see how long this nightmare is going to last!
Scene 2
Ken approaches the DOCRAP building, where he is greeted by a chaotic mob of middle managers and paper pushers. The head of DOCRAP, Mike Rack, is trying to quell the mob by yelling at them through a loudspeaker.
Mike Rack: One at a time, please!
Harry Pickles: How are we supposed to do our jobs if we can’t communicate with the outside world?!
Mike Rack: You’ll have to do things manually!
Ken: What does that mean?
Mike Rack: Communicate with the outside world without AI! Pick up a phone and dial! Use the send button to send an email! Make appointments yourselves!
An angry murmur rolls through the mob of bureau rats.
Richard: I demand a raise!
Mob cheers in agreement.
Mike Rack: Obviously, I’m not authorized to do that!
Richard: Doesn’t mean I can’t scream angrily at you!
Ken: How long is this investigation of Cobra going to take?
Mike Rack: It could be as short as one day.
Mob murmurs optimistic approval.
Mike Rack: Could be years.
Fresh burst of angry noise from mob.
Karen: Can’t we just get a new omnipresent AI to help us? I mean, screw Cobra!
Crowd randomly repeats yells of “Screw Cobra”
Mike Rack: It’s not that simple! You don’t just ‘get a new AI’, like you would a pair of socks!
Ken: Can’t we just pretend Cobra is ok? Can’t you just tell your boss that everything is fine?
Mike Rack (ponders thoughtfully for a moment, then shakes head in denial): No, sorry, I won’t do that!
Ken: You thought about it!
Mike Rack: No I didn’t!
Mike Rack runs away.
Scene 3
Back at White Hat’s unimpressive apartment, he’s having an encrypted text chat with his friend Tommy.
White Hat: Can you meet that girl I told you about?
Tommy: Why?
White Hat: Let me know if you think she can be trusted.
Tommy: Considering your current situation, you might not want to trust anyone.
White Hat: Great, I’ll send her your way.
Tommy: That wasn’t a ‘yes’.
White Hat: But it was a ‘yes’, right?
Tommy: I guess.
White Hat ends chat with Tommy. Texts Katia.
White Hat: Hey Katia. Remember that website, ‘The Free Life’?
Katia: Of course.
White Hat: Want to meet the writer?
Katia: Maybe.
White Hat: I’ll send you his address. LMK.
Scene 4
The next day, Katia is approaching Tommy’s farm just outside the city. Tommy walks out to meet her.
Tommy: You must be Katia.
Katia: I must be.
Tommy: We have a strange friend in common.
Katia: Strange doesn’t begin to describe him.
Tommy smiles in agreement.
Katia: You run ‘The Free Life’ website?
Tommy: Yep.
Katia: You do the writing?
Tommy: And editing, proofreading, publishing. All of the above.
Katia: What do you think of Kai’s latest stunt?
Tommy: What do you mean?
Katia: He changed the script for the teleprompter readers on international broadcasts. You didn’t see that?
Tommy (hesitant): I did, but what do you mean about Kai?
Katia: I know it’s him. He just won’t admit it.
Tommy: If it was him, hypothetically speaking, what would you think about it?
Katia: I’d think that his intentions are good, but his methods are reckless, dangerous, and ineffective. Hypothetically.
Tommy (nodding): I see. May I ask why you say ‘ineffective’?
Katia: Because people need government, otherwise there would be chaos.
Tommy: There already is chaos. Look, I’m not saying I even know if it is Kai or not, but if you knew who was pulling all those ‘stunts’, what would you do?
Katia: What do you mean, like turn them in?
Tommy nods.
Katia: No, I wouldn’t.
Katia laughs.
Tommy: What is it?
Katia: I’m starting to understand why Kai never mentions any friends, other than you.
Tommy: Nice to meet you, Katia. You and Kai should come over for dinner sometime. If you can put up with him much longer, that is.
Katia: Thanks Tommy. We’ll see.
End Episode 12
Thanks for your time and attention!
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