Episode 5
Scene 1
After escaping Admiral Illu and General Sion’s CUPGASS ship, Blackjack and the rest of The Blazing Muffin crew are having a rendezvous with Ritmo ship Instrumentalis.
Blackjack: I’m glad you’re getting to meet the Ritmo species so soon, Tom.
Tom: Why is that?
Blackjack: They are similar to humans in many ways.
Blue: But they do have exceptionally large ears.
Blackjack: True. That’s one reason they have such a wide range of musical ability.
Pokher: That’s the understatement of the eon. They speak in musical notes, literally communicating by vibes and tones.
Computer: The Instrumentalis is approaching.
Blackjack: Onscreen.
Two humanoid creatures appear on the bridge’s viewscreen. They look very much like humans, just with much larger ears.
Blackjack: Hello! Thank you for your assistance in helping us escape those space pirates with fancy titles! I’m Blackjack.
Ritmo 1: No problem. It happens a lot around this sector, actually. The CUPGASS is very aggressive near Planet Minus, which is one of Ritmo’s closest neighbors. My name is Allegro and this is Libero.
Tom: Wow, they do look similar to humans.
Allegro and Libero get amused looks on their faces.
Libero: What is your name, human?
Tom: I’m Tom. You know I’m human?
Allegro: Of course. Ritmos and Humans are very closely related species. Human musical prowess isn’t as proficient as ours, but it’s still one of the best we’ve heard.
Libero: If only their logic and morals were equally proficient.
Allegro: Indeed. Please don’t be offended, Tom.
Tom: I’m not. I know how screwed up Earth’s society is.
Libero: Well, let’s not waste any time. Let’s go to Ritmo! May we beam over to your ship, Blackjack?
Blackjack: Of course.
Allegro: We’ll put The Instrumentalis on auto pilot and bring a bottle of Ritmo’s finest Animato Ale!
Meanwhile, on the CUPGASS Imperial Cruiser, Admiral Illu and General Sion have been detained and boarded by Captain Stingus Maximus of Lord Emperor President Chancellor Dominus Khan’s Grand Universal Empire of the Splat Culture. Stingus Maximus is hovering near the heads of Illu and Sion.
Stingus: It appears we have a common enemy.
Illu: We do?
Stingus: Those lawless vagabonds that escaped you just as my mighty fleet arrived.
Illu: Yes.
Sion: And no.
Stingus: What do you mean?
Illu: Creatures of their type, they have no central command.
Sion: They operate alone.
Stingus: They might not have a central command, but they’re not alone. They received help from others when they escaped us.
Illu: There are many like them in the universe, lawless creatures and lawless worlds.
Sion: When we cross paths with such vile creatures, we do our best to conquer or kill them.
Illu: Yes, they are a threat to order.
Sion: The greatest threat the universe has ever seen!
Stingus: As I said, we have a common enemy. I have a proposition for you.
Illu: What is it?
Sion: Does it involve letting us go?
Stingus (rolls little bug eyes): Yes, it does.
Illu and Sion get excited and squirm in their seats.
Stingus: Before their ship escaped us, we were able to board it and gain valuable information about their technology. I’ll share this information with you if you grant mining rights to the Splat Culture on Planet Minus.
Illu (scoffs): We don’t have the authority to do that! Such a concession must be granted through a painstaking bureaucratic process and be approved by the top members of the dark occult ruling class, not to mention….
Stingus interrupts: You two are in charge of security for your government’s operations on Planet Minus, right?
Illu: Well….
Sion: Yes.
Stingus: Look, I don’t have the authority to make an alliance with CUPGASS either. What we can do, however, is cooperate out here, on Planet Minus, and nobody else has to know.
Illu (excited): Wow, you’re a corrupt little devil, aren’t you?
Sion: Excellent idea.
Stingus: Great, so it’s a deal!
Illu and Sion agree to the deal. Stingus and his tiny marauders leave the CUPGASS ship. After they leave, Admiral Illu and General Sion talk in private.
Illu: How long do you think until we’re at war with those little buggers?
Sion: Not long. I really just wanted to save my own neck.
Illu: Same here. But in the meantime, let’s enjoy some fruits of corruption.
Sion: Agreed.
Scene 2
All of Blackjack’s crew, except for Pixel (who is piloting The Blazing Muffin), are in the rec room with Allegro and Libero. They’re halfway through a bottle of Animato Ale.
Tom: Wow, Blue, you’re like every color imaginable right now.
Pokher: Yeah, that’s how she is when she gets a buzz. All Swigs are like that.
Blackjack: How are humans when they consume alcohol, Tom? You seem quite jovial.
Tom: Well, it effects each person differently. There are what we call “happy drunks”. Then there are “sloppy drunks”. Unfortunately, there are “angry drunks”. And of course there are “sleepy drunks”.
Allegro: Yes, Ritmos are much the same, although angry drunks are very rare. It’s really the sloppy drunks that we need to watch out for.
Computer: I wish I could get drunk.
Blackjack: Maybe one day.
Computer: We’re now landing at Nocturne City.
Allegro: My place just outside of Nocturne City, to be exact.
Moments later, they all pile out of the Blazing Muffin. Tom is stunned.
Blue: What is it, Tom?
Tom: I can feel it. It’s like the planet is speaking to me through rhythm.
Libero: Everything in the universe has rhythm and vibrates at its own frequency.
Allegro: It’s just particularly strong here to you, because of your similarity with us, the Ritmo species.
Blackjack: That’s how we disabled the CUPGASS ship’s shields. The frequency we generated and launched at it was the opposite of their shield’s frequency.
Pokher: So it canceled out, or neutralized the shields. Isn’t that right, Allegro?
Allegro: Exactly. Using the principles of Rhythm and Vibration is quite powerful.
Tom: I had no idea.
Libero (surprised): Really?
Blackjack: Come on, you two know how primitive human knowledge and technology are.
Allegro: Yes, that’s true. But such basic universal principles are not known there?
Tom: If they are, they’re certainly not taught to anyone.
Allegro: Well, since this is your first time here, how about we go to Feroce Falls?
Everyone but Tom grumbles.
Blackjack: We went there the last time we were on Ritmo.
Pokher: How about Moto Market?
Libero: You go there every time you’re on Ritmo.
Tom: What’s Moto Market?
Libero: The biggest and most exotic market on Ritmo.
Allegro: Fine, let’s go there. There’s something for everyone. While we’re gone, I’ll have some bots fix The Blazing Muffin’s shields.
Blackjack: Feel free to upgrade them too, if you want.
Tom: A market? But I don’t have any currency.
Libero: Are you kidding? You have the best currency.
Tom: What’s that?
Libero: You’re rare.
They all are beamed over to Moto Market. There are thousands of beings milling about. The majority are Ritmos, but there are also a great many alien species. Blackjack and Pokher look around for new tech and ship-related items. Pixel gets involved in a 101 card chess tournament. Blue goes libation sampling. And Tom, well, Tom enjoys being a rare commodity with the females, much to Libero and Allegro’s amusement. They are abruptly interrupted by a message from The Blazing Muffin’s computer.
Computer: Hey, we’re getting a distress call from another Bling ship.
Blackjack: My home world? How rare. What type of distress signal?
Computer: General.
Blackjack: Have you authenticated it?
Computer: Of course. What type of amateur do you take me for?
Blackjack: We’re the closest ones to them?
Computer: Yep.
Blackjack sends out a message to everyone from his ship.
Blackjack: Ok, sorry to cut this short, but we’re going on a rescue mission. Everyone back to The Blazing Muffin.
Tom (looks sadly at ladies): Do I have to?
Blackjack: No, you don’t have to, but I’m sure not coming back all this way to pick you up again.
Pokher: I might remind you Tom that you will be rare everywhere in the universe. You’re the first human out here.
Tom: Oh, well, in that case…. (looks at ladies) Sorry ladies, gotta go.
Ladies frown and make tones of lamentation
Moments later, they’re back on The Blazing Muffin, racing towards the distress signal. Upon approaching the Bling ship, the computer gives some bad news.
Computer: Uh-oh.
Blackjack (annoyed): Oh, what is it now?
Computer: It’s not a Bling Ship.
Blackjack: I thought you authenticated it?!
Computer: I did.
Pokher: Well, you did the worst job ever.
Computer: They must know standard Bling distress codes.
Blackjack: Who?
Computer: The Awashi.
Blackjack: Awashi pirates? Shields up. Ready all weapons.
To be continued….
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