"It is dangerous to be right in matters, where established men are wrong." - Voltaire
This reminds me of a relative who suddenly stopped talking term with me. It is so strange to see myself in a situation which really connects with this phrases. This quote remind us that the truth often challenges comfort. When long held belief are questioned, those who speak honestly may face resistance and criticism. Throughout our history, whistleblowers, freethinkers, and reformers who challenged accepted dogmas faced severe personal backlash. I find myself in a similar situation after confronting one of my relatives for his wrong done.
The French author points out that progress rarely comes from agreement alone. Ths relative is quite older, he is around 75 years of age. However, he never accepts his wrongdoings. For him whatever he and his family member does is always correct. No matter if such things may harm or create issues for others. They believe their doings were always right. In other word they are sort of selfish and mean approach towards everyone. Being a close relative, I always looked upon him as a fatherly figure, but ever since he started making use of my innocence, I becomes more alert. I started figuring out his real motive. One particular day, I found a loopholes in his activity and instantly raised my concern to him. Real challenges begins when, someone dares to stand firm, even when their ideas, unsettle powerhouse tradition. And as expected he started to prove his point correct by giving lame excuses. But I had enough of his selfish act and proved all his excuses wrong with meaningful arguments. Since then we were not in talking term.
He stopped talking to me. For once I felt bad for him, I was not suppose to highlight his mistakes and wrong doing. I wanted to say sorry, but on a second count I think, do I really need to say sorry? I never disrespected him, it was all in a normal conversation mode. It has been few month since the incident, but he ignores me all the time. I do understand that pointing out an error, fact checking, or criticizing someone's work is protected under the right to free speech and expression. However, the context, intent, and manner in which we do it can sometimes cross boundaries. In our case, we have not crossed any limit and everything was done within boundary. I often visit him seeking his blessing, but he seems to curse me.
Fragile Ego and Self-Worth Protection.
Pointing out a legitimate mistake, or factual error does not require an apology. Saying sorry when we have done nothing wrong can undermine our credibility or send a false signal of guilt. If we addressed the issue calmly, privately (which i did), and without insults, humiliation, or superiority, the discomfort the other person feels is usually a natural reaction to being held accountable, not a sign of our misconduct. Last few weeks, I was going through this pain, but now made myself clear. There was no misconduct on my part and hence no need to apologise to him. Older adults often ignore or resist when others highlight their mistakes. Their brains are less likely to register that a mistake has actually happened, meaning they may genuinely believe they are right. These generations often value respect, formality, and established social hierarchy. Being corrected especially by someone younger can feel patronizing or disrespectful.
Proof that even the wise had to wing it once
It is in human nature, not to accept their mistakes. It is common in many people around us. Admitting fault requires vulnerability. People fear that others will lose respect for them, reject them, or use the admission against them. When such things comes from a person whom I see as a fatherly figure does create insecurity. When there are enough instances to prove them accountable, they should accept and behave normally then turning up with bad face. It is so strange to see such reaction from an elders. Uncertainty, ambiguity, or being proven wrong feels uncomfortable or unsafe to some brains. It may appear that I try to prove my point by holding him wrong. But the the way he reacted to my accusation held me right. As far as I know him, if he find even a slight excuse he may create ruckus at home. This time he reacted in a different way, only to assume he does accepted his mistake but not ready to publicise it.
In good faith - Peace!!