Well after that episode of explosive diarrhea, there was no way I could show my face at another pool party. So I've kept away from them ever since, and never looked back. No regrets. The trail of ass juice I left in my wake will always be a happy memory though. As will the screams of horror of those worst affected by the spillage. You never get a second chance to create a first impression. An impression of a toxic waste tanker in this instance. I don't think they'll forget me anytime soon. I'm sure the strength of that liquid bowel movement propelled me through the water at a good speed as well. I'm taking the win there. I bet the pool cleaner got overtime that weekend to. There's no way they would have left that effluent to fester and putrefy. That was a marble tile stainer if ever there was one.
(The copyright to this image is the property of The New Yorker.)
I can't help thinking I've been getting a bit lazy recently. Reducing everything to knob gags and poo. There's no art in that. I do love a knob but I think perhaps I've been relying on my knob love too much. Back in the day I had a good line in the old psychopath schtick and the Good Old Days was fertile grounds for my twisted imagination. I need something to distract me. Something I can get my teeth into. As we all know teeth and knobs do not go well together. I did have ideas about condoms, but it's back to the penis again isn't it. Tangentially at least.
I might even be tempted to have another look at social media. See what whacked out monkey fucking crazy has broken out there recently. I know they'll be hating on someone right now. Trump might get five minutes rest before they all pile on him. I still haven't got over Netflix firing a guy for telling their employees they weren't allowed to use the N-word. Only he actually used it. The thing is if no one uses the N-word. We'll eventually reach a point where no one knows what the N-word is. Only black people will keep the word alive. But because only black people will be using it the meaning will be lost to every other race. I've honestly never used it. I even feel bad when my black friends say it. I give a little shudder of white guilt. And I will litter my conversation with the word cunt.
You see I'm to blame for every bad thing white people have ever done throughout history. But I'm not allowed to feel proud of the good things white people have done. Which if taken logically means that every Hindu is responsible for the practice of suttee or sati. Which is where the favorite wife of the deceased is burned alive on his funeral pyre. Evil white people put a stop to that though. The bastards. What makes it problematic for me is that it's predominantly white people who are policing this. If a black person were to disagree with a white person on any of this crap, then that black person can be called the N-word, as well as white supremacist and fascist. I've got a lovely video clip of Candace Owens being mobbed by white Antifa members. She's surrounded and protected by black police officers while a mob of angry white folk call her the N-word. Do these Antifa members not understand that their great, great, great, great, great grandchildren may be vilified for them doing this? If it becomes unacceptable for white Antifa members to use the N-word. Stranger things have happened.
It's the hypocrisy that gets to me the most. You see all those white people going apeshit about white privilege feel more entitled to white privilege. They find themselves far more moral than anyone else. And of course because they've made up the rules on this they are also entitled to ignore them and consider themselves the exception to the rule. That's white people for you. Bunch of lying, hypocritical cunts. Black people are okay as long as they follow the white folks rules on the use of words, how to vote, where they live and a few other minor points. You see in the enlightened white person's mind, black people aren't capable of thinking and acting for themselves. They need white guidance. Which is actually far more racist than the N-word if you think about it. Fortunately none of these white fucktards are capable of thought.
As a result of all this shit, not only do I feel ashamed of what white folk did hundreds of years ago, but I'm also ashamed of the shit they're doing now. All they've done is replace one form of hate with another slightly different form of hate. Now I'm not saying every Antifa member is a racist. Only the white ones are.