Most people find me strange because I don't socialize much. I guess it's remnants from growing up in a chaotic abusive household. And it strikes me odd I just chose the word household instead of home. Perhaps that's leftover baggage from being homeless for 7 yrs some 15yrs ago. Today a bell ringer for the Salvation Army ask me how I was doing and I replied "I'm still vertical and any day where you can stand upright and walk around is a real blessing". He gave a "true that" and we parted ways. I could tell by the look in his eyes he had lived a hard life consumed by drinking or drugs or both and I suspect he was homeless or living in a shelter.
Living homeless in my life was both a blessing and a curse. I couldn't tolerate being in town or even around people so I decided to take what little I had and head out to the beach. I had a small utility trailer I put some plywood on so I could get myself out of the elements. I thought at first I would only have to be in my 6ft wide 8ft long box for a short time. In the end I stayed out in that same trap for 5 yrs seven miles away from the closest water or lights.
Perhaps one day I'll sit down and write a book or something about the experience but for today I feel compelled to quote a poem I remembered from my years as a college student. I don't know who wrote it nor the title but the words stuck with and even today remind me that being alone is just part of who I am.
Anyways.
I do alright alone
Even better together
In solitude I do much
In love I do more
But in doubt I only transfer my pain to paper
In gigantic passion plays complete with crucifixions and resurrections
So come to stay or stay away.
So I hope the words might help if you might be feeling blue or green or some other colour. Many times they came to the forefront of my mind to simply remind me I do..do alright alone.
Blessed be.
...obligatory cat picture.