Yea, that's me up there and I'm in my late twenties. Hard to believe right? Yea, I know. I've seen more disbelief all my life about my age, and status in life generally. I've even faced so much embarrassments and downgrades from so many people and places I've been to, I've been asked ridiculous questions and teased all because of my stature. I thank God for all that now because they only made me stronger.
I remember then in church, I would always be sent back to the children's church because they all thought I was not old enough to be in the intermediate class. Oh Lord, I would feel so hurt in my heart but what could I do. There were even times I would try to tell them my age but they'll just laugh at me and still insist on me going to the children's church.
Then I decided to start using drugs that'll make me add weight so I can look bigger. I used Feed Fine , Super Appetite, drank Complan milk but none of these things yielded any result. There was even a time my mom had to take me to the hospital; not because I was sick or anything but because she also wanted me to add some weight and look my age; but that also yielded no result. I felt bad and started having low self-esteem which resulted from the way I look. And to now make matters worse, I wasn't getting any admirer as all my friends were; because they were big and they had all the assets that attracts guys.
Sometimes (even till date) if I walk with some of my friends that we're of the same age or even younger than me, people tend to regard them more. Well, all that doesn't get to me anymore because I'm emotionally stronger now.
I worried so much then that I ask myself now why I was worrying too much. The answer to all my past worry simply was in the way I termed beautiful. My dad would tell me during those times I was trying to add weight that I'm beautiful the way I am; but what else would a father tell his daughter? So I never took him too seriously.
At some point in my life, I had to just give up on the quest of adding weight and accepting / loving myself the way I am. Although it was hard because the teasing didn't and hasn't stopped; but I thank God because He has been helping. During this journey of self love, I learnt how to give deserving answers to those people who knows nothing but how to make you feel less of who you are. I also became more confident and started seeing myself as beautiful. And things started changing in my life. It was almost as if my whole life was waiting for me to change my perspective.
I know there are some of us out there battling with low self esteem, self hate and so on. I'll just like to urge you to start loving yourself for who you are, seeing and telling yourself how beautiful you are and forget what people think or say about you 😀.
Thanks for reading, kindly upvote 👍
Picture taken with my infinix X600