There's no one size fits all solution to these problems and so all I can give you is personal experience.
It's very hard to stay cross about something if you don't keep revisiting the thought. We endlessly remind ourselves of the things which hurt us in a process called rumination. The good news is that there are lots of healthy ways to break these ruminations. There are unhealthy ways too alcohol or junk food being common ones. It's obvious to most people which are the bad ones.
Quick recovery guide
Try writing your thoughts on the page. Get them out your head and down somewhere. Once you're used to that you can often resolve the issue by using things like CBT skills to examine your thoughts. You don't need to save them or worry about others finding them.
Eat and drink - Avoid junk if you can
Take a nap or talk to a friend
Exercise - Anger is a deeply physical response. Not just weights but even going for a walk
Get some space - go for a walk or drive etc.
The most powerful of these for me is number 1.
In the longer term, a solid mindfulness meditation practice helps. Provided that you're getting the right instruction you can be less reactive. One of the core lessons of mindfulness being that you shouldn't believe everything you think or feel.
In terms of reduction of emotional response. There's very little we argue about that has any real, long lasting consequences. It's just not that important to get upset about
