Banish these Time-Based Adverbs from your narration. They are needless words that hold no value. The writer must take caution, and be aware of their writing. There are exceptions to all rules, but very rare will the writer need to use time-based adverbs. All they do is clutter the narration, and make the story clumsy and sloppy.
Suddenly a hand gripped my shoulder. I immediately went quite, trembling in my shoes. Then a gentle finger ran the course of my cheekbone. When I reached up and touched the finger, I felt nothing but bare bone. Finally, I spun around and saw only darkness.
A hand clutched my shoulder. I froze, silent, trembling in my shoes. A gentle finger ran the course of my cheekbone. I touched the finger and felt bare bone. I swallowed, spun around and saw only darkness.
Much better! The passage has more of a punch than the passage using time based adverbs. The problem with time-based adverbs is they slow down the action. Take up unnecessary space by creating needless words. Amateurs have a hard time with this, and is a bad habit to form, and once formed it can be hard to break. Amateurs often say, “How will the reader know it happened suddenly, or when?”
Samantha leaned in and landed a right jab to Kelly’s nose. Blood splatter in all directions.
How much time passed between each sentence? NONE. The reader reads narration as continuous. The reader does not assume that Kelly took a five minute break before blood splatter from her nose. All narration is continuous unless the narrator states other wise.
Take great pride in the work. Do the best you can. By eliminating time-based adverbs it creates more vivid and powerful writing. Banish these words from your writing, take great care, omit all needless words, and your readers will thank you.
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