The Fed Held Rates — and Bitcoin STILL Slipped Below $80K | Cartoon Crypto News Ep. 1
AI production disclosure: Satoshi in Sixty is an animated show. The cartoon visuals and the hosts' voices are AI-generated (visuals: original cartoon artwork produced digitally for this show; voices: AI text-to-speech); the episode is researched, script-checked and published by a human, and this write-up is my own. The same episode is on YouTube:
Well, here we go — first episode of the new show, and Hive gets it the same day as YouTube. If you've followed this account for a while, you know crypto video is not new territory for me; what's new is the format. Satoshi in Sixty is a cartoon news desk: two hosts, Sat and Nova, sixty-second verified briefings, and a standing rule that facts get labelled as facts and opinions get labelled as opinions.
Episode 1 is built around the October 28 FOMC decision. The Federal Reserve held rates at 3.75%–4.00% — and the detail that matters is the vote: 10–2, with the two dissenters wanting a HIKE, not a cut. A hold with hike dissents is not the easing signal a lot of crypto traders had been hoping for, and the market read it that way. As of October 29, 2026, Bitcoin was trading just below $80,000 (down roughly 1.5% in 24 hours) and Ethereum was sitting near $2,300 (down about 2%). Those are dated snapshots, not live prices — the show stamps them on screen, and I'll stamp them here too.
Inside the episode: the Fed story in a sixty-second briefing, a desk segment on why crypto cares about interest rates at all, a dated market check, a Cardano spotlight (the Dijkstra public testnet opened October 21, with CIP-0113 already live — real progress, covered with its caveats, not hype), and a Bull vs Bear on Bitcoin where both sides have to show their work.
My own take, for what it's worth: the most interesting part of this decision isn't the hold itself, it's the direction of the dissent. Markets had spent weeks arguing about how fast cuts might come; two officials voting to raise is a reminder that "higher for longer" never actually left the room. Episodes like this are exactly why we built the show the way we did — the headline number is boring, the story underneath it isn't.
Sources the episode was checked against (October 29, 2026): the KuCoin Daily Market Report, Brave New Coin via TradingView, ETHNews, and CoinGecko data via CoinGabbar for prices; Intersect and U.Today for the Cardano testnet reporting.
New episodes land Mon/Wed/Fri, with a Short every day. If you're watching this on Hive — welcome to the desk. Comments are on: tell me which project you want under the spotlight next.
Not financial advice. This show is for education and information only. Crypto is volatile and you can lose money — always do your own research.