I am just tired. Tired of not being able to find a job, tired of struggling to pay even one bill, tired of putting all the pressure on the love of my life because he is a true man and wants to take care of me, plus he promised my dad that he would when he was dying. I am tired of worrying if I will have a roof over my head by the end of this week because we don't have enough money to pay rent, and I am tired of living in North Dakota.
I believe I agreed to move out here 5 years ago because I was so depressed after my dad's passing and I just needed to get away from it. Sadly I got away from everyone and everything I had known my entire life, except for my love. I knew if we were together we could do anything and he was trying to save me from myself.
Well now I am tired of North Dakota, as is he, I am tired of missing my mom and other family and friends, as is he, and I am tired of feeling useless because nobody will give me a job out here. We are working on being able to go home but first we have to figure out how not to be evicted this week from a mobile home we actually own, but pay rent to the "city" to live on. And according to law, if we don't move our home they can take it from us. Well, sadly if we don't have enough to pay a month's rent we don't have enough to move a home.
So as you can probably understand....I am tired.