Blogging is basically writing online, and where we get to share worthless dribble with family, friends, and many times with offensive jackasses in cyberspace. Just my own personal definition, don't get your panties/drawers all in a bunch.
Of course, blogging can be fun, unless of course, you get butthurt easily, in that case, maybe writing a diary would be more to your liking.
So you want to be a blogger, okay, what are the things you need to start your new online career in the wonderful world of blogging?
First, you need a venue/platform to put your little bloggie, in other words, a blogging site to put your informative and entertaining posts. After all, if you intend to have your wonderful works seen, you need a place for them to be seen.
Once you have found a "home" for your blog, pick a good name for the said blog. Then you have to fill out your details for your new member account. Next, you need your profile filled out, with profile pic, using the best pic you can find for your avatar, which can be anything, some cartoon character, actor, flag waving in the wind, or something truly obscene to upset those religious folk.
There are a few considerations to take into account when filling out your profile, there are bad people in cyberspace, and one must be careful divulging too much personal information because it can and probably will eventually be used against you, either by the written word, or some fool will try to send the FBI or CIA to your house.
Maybe just leave the profile blank, or if you feel that is in bad taste, maybe “borrow” some information from someone you don’t like, or go to your local graveyard, and get some info off a tombstone. Heck, no one is going to know, it isn’t like your filing income tax forms. Always consider your safety when online!
Now comes the fun part, your first post/blog. Some have told me that before typing that first post, you should write down some ideas. Let them percolate in your head. Get your ideas together. Hell, I blog so I don’t have to write anything down, and I've found over thinking gives me a headache. That’s what your keyboard is for, type, get it over with, and start again... just keep pumping out those posts.
So, now you have begun to type something. Maybe throw a pic in with it, people love pics. No naked stuff though could get your ass kicked off the site before you even get started, and besides, we really don’t want to see your naked ass showing off your tan! It’s amazing what some people post for pics. Well, not so amazing as it is scary.
Your post can be any worthless dribble you want to write, maybe you had a bad day, maybe you had a good day, maybe your wife is leaving you and has just left you with only the dog, or cat, and cleaned the house out.
Doesn’t matter, just be sure it is your writing and not stolen from someone else, because that upsets people, especially the original writer of such dribble. DO NOT copy and paste news articles, if people wanted the news, they could turn on the idiot box.
Try not to write religious posts, there have been more wars and innocent people killed in the name of religion than you can ever imagine. religion is for home, or church, not the internet. Leave us atheists alone to our own little world.
Anyway, once you have written your crap, umm, I mean post, reread it, check for grammar and spelling mistakes, and then post it live on your chosen blogging site. Once again, let me repeat this, this is important, check for grammar and spelling mistakes! There is nothing worse than trying to read what we might consider a good post, and the spelling or grammar is so bad, we have no idea what it was you were trying to say and convey to us, the reader.
Once your post has gone "live" this is where all the fun begins. You get to sit back and watch people tear apart your well thought out post, with comments. It is also where you have to have an immune system to butthurt, if you don't, well, it isn't good. When you have been busy writing for maybe hours, there isn't anything in the world that can prepare you for some of the things that may or may not be commented to you about your post.
You should always answer comments, and you should always try to answer comments politely, like myself, because, like I said, people can get butthurt and we don’t want that. Even if they are being a pain in the ass, we don’t have to return the favor.
Now if by chance someone reads what you have written, likes it, and wants to be your friend, or decides to follow you, I suggest hiring a private investigator to do a background check on them first, before accepting. We can’t be too careful, here in the cyber world.
Many times there are puppet accounts, which, I have found a very strange moniker for such accounts. Puppet accounts are alter egos of bloggers, who can't seem to cause enough damage with just one account, so they make several accounts. Puppet accounts have someone else pulling their strings or someone else's hands up their ass moving them…. wait, never mind, puppet works.
Puppet accounts are often used to cheat the system as well, and if left go or unfound, they can cause irreversible damage.
Of course, you will find true friends eventually, and if you do, value them, because often, like in the real world, a true friend is often very hard to find!
I hope this little post hasn't caused you any anxiety, or your desire to cancel any or all accounts you may have, because if you know me, you will find I have a weird sense of humor, and actually enjoy blogging/writing.
