Throughout our existence, we have different experiences, some very pleasant and others not so pleasant.
Many of these experiences or experiences we provoke them, we seek them, others, however, it is as if the universe said: You have to live this and learn from it.
Or simply life puts you in a direction in which you must learn to recognize yourself...and find yourself. That happened to me.
From an early age I learned to make decisions, I learned to defend myself in the world, to establish what I wanted and what I didn't want in my life.
I married young. With the only boyfriend I had, I have already told you. It was a long courtship, very nice, but the marriage did not last as long as I had hoped.
Differences, mismatches, and after seven years, it was all over.
I was not prepared for that. Emotionally I became very unbalanced, many things around me changed. I lost hopes, illusions, family, friends.
I locked myself in my house, with my child. I only went to work, to pick him up from school, I didn't visit my mom much and I didn't talk to my friends. And obviously, little communication with my ex: only what was necessary for the child.
I spent two years like that until the day I overheard two neighbors talking about me and the way I was living.
I didn't realize the damage I was doing to myself, the irreparable damage I was doing to my life and my son's life.
Sitting on the bed I began to analyze the last time I had lived. I realized that I had locked myself up as if the world had ended, as if my life had ended. I was submerged in a situation of conformism, of defeat and time was passing in front of me and I did not realize all that I was not living.
It was not me. I didn't recognize me. That girl who was determined, with determination, and who knew what she wanted, I couldn't find her...she was missing. I stood in front of the mirror and for the first time I realized for the first time how much I had deteriorated: too thin, too pale, I looked ill. I think that unconsciously, I was trying to hide the reality.
When I went to bed I cried...I cried a lot as I realized that I was letting myself be defeated by a single lost fight, that I was letting myself be defeated by an experience that I simply had to live and learn from.
That night I told myself that it was not the end of the world, that everything has a beginning and an end. The fight of life is fighting, falling down and getting up as many times as it takes. The world is full of people getting divorced, of couples separating. I had to move on and come back to me. To continue with my thoughts, with my aspirations, with my values, to find my self-esteem and to rediscover the independent, friendly and vital person that I was...the one who had hidden behind a curtain.
The next day began another chapter in my life, one in which I did not seek the approval of others but my own, my interests, desires, goals, accepting and reaffirming who I was and where I was going.
Life has many heartaches, but it also has enriching and pleasant experiences, and we should remember the latter when we are going through the former. Any crisis in our life helps us to see things differently, to develop new skills and to value ourselves day by day.
It is difficult not to let ourselves be troubled by the negative situations we may experience, but we must do everything in our power not to lose ourselves while we live them and keep a tight grip on who we are, on our essence, that which distinguishes us from others and from ourselves. It is essential to love, respect, trust and believe in ourselves to achieve emotional stability and grow as people.
There is a phrase that says that losing ourselves is the best way to find ourselves. I did it and that's why I can say:
A lo largo de nuestra existencia, vamos teniendo diferentes experiencias, algunas muy agradables y otras no tanto.
Muchas de esas experiencias o vivencias nosotros las provocamos, las buscamos, otras, sin embargo, es como si el universo dijera: Tienes que vivir esto y, aprende de ello.
O simplemente la vida te pone en una dirección en la que debes aprender a reconocerte...y encontrarte. Eso me sucedió a mi.
Desde temprana edad aprendí a tomar decisiones, aprendí a defenderme en el mundo, a establecer que queria y que no queria en mi vida.
Me casé joven. Con el único novio que tuve, ya se los he dicho. Fué un noviazgo largo, muy bonito, pero el matrimonio no llegó a ser tan duradero como yo esperaba.
Diferencias, desajustes, y al cabo de siete años, todo acabó.
No estaba preparada para eso. Emocionalmente me desequilibré bastante, muchas cosas a mi alrededor cambiaron. Perdí esperanzas, ilusiones, familia, amigos.
Me encerré en mi casa, con mi niño. Sólo iba al trabajo, a recogerlo en la escuela, visitaba poco a mi mamá y de amigos, ni hablar. Y obviamente, poca comunicación con mi ex: lo necesario por el niño.
Pasé dos años así hasta el dia que escuche sin querer a dos vecinas conversando acerca de mi y de la forma en la que yo estaba viviendo.
No me había dado cuenta del daño que me estaba haciendo, del daño irreparable que le estaba haciendo a mi vida y a la de mi hijo.
Sentada en la cama empecé a analizar el último tiempo vivido. Me di cuenta que me habia encerrado como si el mundo se hubiese acabado, como si mi vida hubiese terminado. Estaba sumida en una situación de conformismo, de derrota y el tiempo pasaba frente a mi y yo no me daba cuenta de todo lo que estaba dejando de vivir.
No era yo. No me reconocía. Esa chica que era decidida, con determinación, y que sabía lo que quería, no la encontraba...estaba desaparecida. Me paré frente al espejo y por primera vez me dí cuenta de cuan desmejorada estaba: demasiado delgada, pálida, parecía enferma. Creo que incoscientemente, estaba tratando de ocultar la realidad.
Al acostarme lloré...lloré mucho al darme cuenta que me estaba dejando vencer por una sola pelea perdida, que estaba dejandome derrotar por una experiencia que simplemente tenia que vivir y aprender de ella.
Esa noche me dije que no era el fin del mundo, que todo tiene un principio y un final. La pelea de la vida es peleando, caer y levantarse las veces que haga falta. El mundo está lleno de personas que se divorcian, de parejas que se separan . Tenía que seguir adelante y regresar a mi. Seguir con mis pensamientos, con mis aspiraciones, con mis valores, encontrar mi autoestima y reencontrarme con la persona independiente, amistosa y vital que yo era...esa que se habia escondido tras una cortina.
Al día siguiente inició otro capítulo en mi vida, uno en el que no buscaba la aprobación de los demás sino la mía, mis intereses, deseos, metas, aceptando y reafirmando quien era y adonde iba.
La vida tiene muchos sinsabores, pero también tiene experiencias enriquecedoras y agradables y de estas últimas, debemos acordarnos cuando estamos pasando por las primeras. Cualquier crisis en nuestra vida nos ayuda a ver las cosas de otra manera, a desarrollar nuevas habilidades y a valorarnos dia a dia.
Es díficil no dejarse atribular por las situaciones negativas que podamos vivir, pero debemos hacer todo lo que está a nuestro alcance para no perdernos mientras las vivimos y mantenernos bien agarraditos a lo que somos, a nuestra esencia, esa que nos distingue frente a los demás y a nosotros mismos. Es imprescindible amarnos, respetarnos, confiar y creer en nosotros mismos para alcanzar estabilidad emocional y crecer como personas.
Hay una frase que dice que perdernos es la mejor manera de encontrarnos. Yo lo hice y por eso puedo decir:
