Recently I had my 49th birthday, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm getting older. In fact, even though I rarely even mention my birthday, people seem to instinctively know and make ageist comments on that day.
I can't figure it out.
Ironically, I am fitter than I have ever been. The hernia operation months ago was a success, although it cost me a few jobs, meaning I am stronger than I have been in years.
I lift weights regularly now, and have spent the last few weeks doing paid manual labour. All of my medical numbers are within the acceptable range, well, except my blood sugars which refuse to go back to single digits.
I didn't care if the seedlings died a week later, I just needed to see "new life" and to clear the brain fog of a grief loop.
Fast forward to now, I have several tomato plants at various stages of growth, despite being told it was the wrong season to start growing tomatoes and a home full of fungus gnats.
One plant comes up to my waist with no fruit yet and another is only a few feet tall but has two unripe green tomatoes.
Someone else challenged me to try cooking blueberry muffins.
Before I tried that though, I tried my hand at baking a chocolate cake. Yes, as a type 2 diabetic, I know how much sugar in these things.
The chocolate cake turned out really well, but it looks strange because I used a square baking tin and when I poured the icing, it started to spill so I poked holes to stop it.
The icing poured into the holes, mixing with the chocolate cake inside. You can see the colour change in the photo above. I also started nibbling on the corners before I took the photo above.
The image below is my third attempt at making blueberry muffins. The previous attempts had missing ingredients, and I even put too much mixture in the pans, not factoring in for the expansion that happens in the oven.
Blueberries are quite expensive, nearly $40 per kilogram, so I won't be making the muffins very often.
As mentioned previously, I'd returned to doing stand up comedy. I'd had a gig at the Cranker Comedy and have started supporting other comedians, largely just to be seen around the traps. It's good to see people getting up and having a go.
I like watching the hosts on stage, reacting to what each act has to bring, without knowing what each comedian is going to say.
Last week I saw celebrity comedian Fiona O'Laughlin and when she found out I was taught stand up comedy by Glynn Nicholas, she added me to Facebook. I had a crush on her in our youger days, but I'll never tell. I really didn't mean to name drop in front of her, but I was defending myself against another comedian at the time.
I'm going through a whole heap of self-help books I bought in order to try and get my life back on track. I wish i'd Googled the authors before spending the money though.
There are a few exceptions, and the book below is one of them.
The purpose of all of this is to challenge myself, get out of my comfort zone, letting go of my past and seeking out options for the future.
Tonight my plan is to go to an open mic night, Laugh Lab, and work on my act. Practice makes perfect.
The battle is always with myself.
Thank you for reading.
Shaidon
