A Shadows Journey - A journey of one man’s struggle with himself. This is a journal of my journey to a healthier me.
Beginnings - The Ordinary World
I am overweight. I am underconfident. I am broken spiritually. These are my struggles. I could tell you my whole back story. It is a very interesting tale of one man walking alone. One man finding love just out of reach. Struggling with who he is all along the journey. One man finding someone he thought he could grow with, only to spend a few years in an empty and toxic relationship fighting to fix everything only to have it be “too little too late.” One man who thought he could break no more, only to be broken even worse by divorce. A man’s struggle with single fatherhood. A sea of numbness and darkness within his heart, with little flashes of feelings like stars in the sky blinking in and out. One man’s struggle with the church and his relationship with his creator. One man’s struggle with depression and anxiety throughout most of his life. One man’s struggle with food, flavor, and health. Perhaps one day I may just tell that story.
Today, I just tell about my ordinary world. I’m just over my mid-30s. I am over 500lbs. I am divorced, and still single. I don’t have much hope for anything right now. I feel too numb and broken for anyone to love. I am a father to a wonderful little boy. Most of the time my kiddo stays with me. I struggle to go to church. I am struggling mentally. I am struggling to push myself into a better position career-wise. I’ve been a manual software tester for a little over 5 years. I enjoy where I am and what I do. I’d like to grow a bit and see where it goes. I’m struggling with that as well. I am battling this general feeling that I should be doing better or doing more but not quite sure how to bridge the gaps through where I am to where I want to go.
I have some dreams and ideas for the future. I’m an aspiring writer. I’d like to one day see my works published. I’d like to travel more. I have an old Jeep I’d like to fix up and be able to take it out on overland camping adventures. I have a few ideas of how I would like to retire owning a game store. I’d like to try more things out. Work on cars more. I’d like to learn how to blacksmith. I’d like to be more involved in local renaissance faires. Learn to write better. Podcast more. It’d be fun to work at a game studio, or even start my own software development company. I’d like to learn archery and axe throwing better. Yes, that’s right, Axe throwing. Most importantly I want to be there for my kid. I want him to grow up not afraid to lose his dad because of health. I want my mom and dad to see me get healthier than I ever have been.
Those dreams are nice but I feel like they are just out of reach and in a smoky haze of uncertainty. All of those ideas and dreams are behind a huge wall of my health. Not just physical health but mental health. I’m doing good financially but it would be nice to be doing a lot better off.
I know I’m not alone in my struggles. Many folks I know are struggling with health, career, faith, divorce, parenthood, and just life in general. I’ve struggled a lot in the past by keeping a journal of my journey. I’ve tried many things to keep myself accountable to the path ahead of me.I’ve been given a huge challenge for the next roughly 7 months.
July is coming fast. I can’t go into too many details about the challenge ahead. Let's just say it’s as important to me as my son is. It’s going to shape how the rest of my life will turn out.
This is my ordinary world.
Joseph Campbel wrote about the Heroes Journey in his book Hero of 1000 faces from 1949. Campbel wrote a classic story structure that binds a lot of stories together. It is about a story, or persons struggle with facing conflict, overcoming adversity. A parallel can be drawn from his works to a lot of fictional stories of today. Star Wars, The Hunger Games, The Avengers, Big Fish, Walking Dead, Girl Meets World, Sword Art Online, and many other movies, TV shows, and media can be explored through the Heroes Journey. I’m going to parallel my own journey through the hero's journey and see what happens along the way. I have often said the hero's journey can be part of one large overall story, or it can be broken down into many little journeys along with the bigger overall story.
You can follow the story. I will post daily workouts inspired by the workouts on Darebee.com. I will be going through a scripture journey. I’m going to be leveling up my life. From dropping my weight, growing spiritually.
I am level 1 - A Peasant.
A shadows journey - Day 1 - Level 1
Workout of the Day - Inspired by Hero’s Journey @Darebee.com
Side Leg Raises - 25 reps
Squats - 25 reps
Mountain Climbers - 25 reps
Raised arm Circles - 25 reps
(Disclaimer - I am not a personal trainer or dietitian. I am simply sharing what I am doing. I am studying my body and changes being made as I try things. Each and every person is different. What works for one person may not work for anyone else. Please consult a trained professional before doing any exercise programs for long periods of time.)
Scripture - Luke Chapter 1
Let’s see where this goes.
Who am I?
Well, you've seen a lot of where I am in this post. I'm an aspiring writer. I'm a single dad. Stick with the journey and find out more along the way.
