The words in your head describe your imperfections and blunders in detail – and in what seems like an endless loop
Unfavorable self-talk can be just this insidious. It enters you from previous experiences and negative comments from individuals. Once there, this negative self-talk is like a song on auto repeat that can even get louder with each replay. Your dreams are stifled, and you own doing extremely little in any way.
Ultimately, you need to take your life back and nullify the negative self-talk.
How? It’s not easy, but start with these practices:
It is difficult to deal with anything when you're tired physically, emotionally or mentally. Go to a quiet location. Sit comfortably and take a few deep breaths. Meditate or try a mindfulness exercise to calm you.
Do not ignore your negative thoughts. Pay attention to them. What are they saying? Whose voice does it sound like?
Ask yourself: What does that thought mean? Where did it come from? Is this from an assumption you made about yourself at some time, or does it come from another person?
Are you attempting to be perfect in some area? Could this attempt at perfection be a way to hide from some fear? Is there a more accurate expectation you can place on yourself in the area?
What is a positive counterpoint to this negative thought? As an example, if you're stressed over how poor you manage money, recall a time when you worked and successfully conserved for something you desired. Or consider a time when you settled a financial debt and how wonderful that felt later.
If this thought is one that occurs often, what is a brand-new thought you could decide to put in place of it? How can you implement this new belief into behavior? Every time you respond with this new thought to an old stimulus, the more that new thought routine is strengthened, and the power of the old thought diminishes.
Ultimately, to nullify negative self-talk you must intentionally put a stop to it. In addition to the actions outlined above, here is a proven practice that seems too simple, but it works. When a negative thought “speaks up” say to yourself (out loud, if you’re alone!) “STOP!” Then, speak the positive thought. (You can even make a card with the words, or image of a STOP sign on it to carry with you.)
You don't need to pay attention to negative thoughts – and taking these actions can help you do just that. But in some instances negative self-talk is so “loud” that it can be difficult stopping it on your own. If this is the case, don't hesitate to seek aid. Speaking with a trusted friend or trained counselor can assist you in silencing the cycle of negative self-talk.
