“Why are rich people so selfish?”

This was a question asked to me by none other than my mother in that 5 hour conversation we had. I guess she is a big theme of my Hive posts for the first half of January and it makes sense cause when you talk that long with someone, you brush on a lot of different topics.

My mother is smart but she doesn’t have the confidence to trust her own intellect and avoids doing deep analysis because of it. She likes to find someone she trusts and do the analysis together with them and I happen to be the person she trusts the most.

“Why do rich people always want more?”

“Why don’t they share more?”

“What drives them when they already have everything?”

These were some of her questions.

Let’s say there are two siblings, one owns multiple real estate investments and has their own company, The other is struggling with debt and has unsteady income. Do you think the one sibling should help the other out? Do yo I think they usually do?

My mother and I thought of three different examples of people we knew who did not help out that person close to them out of financial peril. She says she would absolutely help if she had that much money to her name. I would certainly want to help but whether or not I would actually offer money, I think it depends entirely on the situation.

The thing is, the more success I have with investments and the more I learn about how capital works, the more nuanced I become with how I judge these situations.

Thanks to all this time following developments in the crypto world and how it relates to the overall economy, I find myself researching much more about how money works. The more you understand about money, the more you realize how vastly undereducated we all are about it and how easy it is to fix that by doing a little self-study. Most people think it's too complicated but one need not get too deep into it to start to understand a little.

Yes, there is systematic inequality and yes it’s ugly and unfair. But in many many cases, people would be able to solve their monetary issues by understanding them better and by making better decisions.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t help someone in need. I’m not saying I won’t. I’m just saying it’s complicated.

At the same time, I’m also not saying that all rich people really want to help and that it’s all poor peoples fault that they are poor.

There are many kinds of people out there and they are motivated by many different things. The easiest way I can simplify it is like this:

There are people with a hole inside, and people with an energy generator (like the sun) inside and most (if not all) of us have both. The hole is fear and the energy generator is love, and these are the two things that drive us. This has nothing to do with how rich you are, you can find the same thing among all demographics.

The hole inside

A rich person who has a massive hole inside probably got where they are by lying and backstabbing. They want more money because it gives them status, because they have more control over more assets, because they can use it to manipulate others to do what they want, and because they are scared that someone else is out to get them so they collect resources to protect themselves. They like control and status and that's really all they care about. These are the ruthless tyrants and few out there who enjoy watching others suffer.

The inner struggle most hardly notice...

Someone who has both a hole and a little sun inside is the typical successful CEO or investor, or middle class baby boomer, or the person just struggling to get by. They want to be a good person but they are also scared. If they have nothing they are scared because they have nothing and if they have a lot they are scared of losing it.

These people create complicated justifications for all their bad behaviors and they also have good behavior so we look at them and see whatever it is we want to see. They are evil manipulators or benevolent contributors to society. You see the one you want to see and you are right either way. Often times their behavior is inconsistent but they don't see that.

What motivates these people who have both a black hole and an energy generating sun inside? They tend to be driven by their ideologies. Rather than trying to wield that power themselves, they defer to something they see as greater than themselves. At the same time, they lack the humility to recognize that we are all imperfect judges of what is best for others, and often don't question deeply if they've got it right. They oversimplify and assume that everyone wants and needs the same thing. They may believe that others would benefit if they believe the same thing as them, (and why wouldn’t they if they are successful?)

When we talk about rich and successful people who are like this, they often feel a sense of responsibility for what they own. Their sense of responsibility may be to themselves or (in many cases) to their children. Some may even feel responsible for the world they live in or to their employees.

They are not thinking about how much money they have though, they think in terms of resource allocation. How many houses and job positions and functions of the economy and shares of other companies are they responsible for? How much capital have they contributed to where, will it yield returns or will it be a leaky investment?

Some really do think “Will it help the world or will it hurt it?” But usually with an inkling that they know better than others. Sometimes they do and often they don’t.

So when you ask a rich person to help someone who is in need, they ask questions. Sometimes which questions they ask reveal something about what drives them and sometimes it reveals something about the person who needs the money.

They often forget about how much the person means to them or are clouded by their fear. They may have a thought process such as “they didn’t work for it and so they don’t deserve it” and this may prevail above their truest desires to help. They may become emotional and remember a time when that person didn’t treat them kindly and so those dark desire for revenge takes over. Maybe they feel they didn't have it easy and they don't want to spoil anyone. Or they may not want to help someone who is just going to gamble it away or use it to live another day without fixing their situation, even if it is someone they love.

A clear heart

Those who have done inner work and are motivated by love can look at it on a case by case basis and be generous without necessarily throwing their resources into someone's black hole (those without money also have holes or love generating suns inside of them). They can offer help that may not be monetary and try to help the person who is in a bad situation by improving their sustainability rather than just giving them enough to make it by for now.

They might offer a free place to stay or introduce them to a new job. Rather than just paying for their living expenses or debt they may offer to help fund some kind of education or class so their loved one can create a better life for themselves. They may create some conditions for their help. OR they may decide that they would really do much better if they just had some freedom from debt and could start over from scratch, and in that case, just providing some money would do the trick.

So yes, some rich people are just thinking about themselves and some just ideologically don’t think that people deserve money that they didn’t work for. Some really want to help and some do not care at all. All of them are thinking more about resource allocation than someone in debt though, whether they are focused on their own benefit or the benefit of others.

There are always other factors but that is probably the most consistent difference between those who have a lot and those who don’t have much. One thinks in terms of how much money they have and the other in terms of where they allocate their resources.

It makes sense that there would be this difference and both situations reinforce themselves, it’s hard to think of resources when you feel you have none, and it’s hard to relate with people who are worried about how to eat when you have enough to eat for several lifetimes.

What does this all mean for us?

I believe that poverty and suffering from lack of resources will end when those who have resources and those who don’t come to understand each other better. It will never be a perfect situation but it could surely get better and better.

At the same time though, I wouldn’t wait for those with all the resources to figure it out first. They don't have the same impetus to figure it out. They have fewer incentives to do so. By expecting them to come along and save us, we are giving them a reason not to. And by making them the enemy, we are shooting ourselves in the foot, failing to see what made them successful.

Is it a good system? That is up for debate but even if we want to change it, we can only do so by understanding the rules that govern it, otherwise history is always bound to repeat itself. Those with resources subjugate those without until eventually the masses overthrow them and new tyrants emerge from the masses.

I believe it’s less about the type of system and more about what drives everyone. The reality is dictated by the driving force. How much love do we have inside and how much fear? It’s not always an easy distinction to make. Fear can disguise itself as love.

As I move into abundance I feel more and more responsibility to get good at making that distinction though. The compass I use is something like this: I do everything I can to bring joy to myself and others. I share what works for me and what I observe to have worked for others but don’t expect everyone to be the same. I don’t know everything, nobody does.