If there is one thing I've struggled with over the course of my adult life, it's marketing. I understand the "rules of the game", and I know that if I put all of my effort into them, I'd probably be able to succeed to some degree. A little trial and error and I might be able to thrive...so why the hell don't I? Well, because everything about it feels wrong.
The idea of trying to appeal to the masses, or even a large niche, it requires a luke-warm, watered down version of whatever it is that you have to offer. That's why Hollywood films keep getting worse and worse, it's because they always try to appeal to everyone. That's why the mainstream is constantly in need of digging up new things from the underground, because nothing interesting comes from trying to appeal to everyone.
There are people who understand this and get good at "branding themselves" to a "target audience". It may work, but for me the more effort I put into it, the less excited I get about what I'm doing, and the more I start to think that maybe I'm better off sticking to my day job, which I know that I'm not.
Then there is this other method which I stumbled upon a while ago, but hadn't fully applied in full due to low levels of energy from health reasons and having too much on my plate. I dabbled in it a bit, but I never thought about all the different ways I could practice it every day. I call this method "Be Awesome".
"Be Awesome" has been my philosophy for life, and it basically meant finding that sweet spot where there is no selfish and no selfless because there is a way that everybody wins. It means that in order to get what you want, you give others what they want, but without sacrificing any authenticity. It means having no expectation of a return in any particular instance, but being so good at what you do that there is a guarantee of return somewhere as long as you don't fumble things up. You win so that others can win, and you help others win so you can win, and don't make any distinction.
If others want to play the competitive game, that's their business. You can protect yourself when needed. You can filter out people who you know want to use you. You can draw boundaries and say "I don't want to do that". Essentially, you do what you want to do, because you want to see things get better and there are others who want to see that to, and since it's something you want to do, there is no problem of authenticity.
I decided to stop complaining about the algorithms on facebook. If I am unhappy that I don't get enough likes to really reach people, why not do other things to reach them. I could just try to make their day. Every day, choose 3-5 people who I want to make happy, and just make them happy. Maybe they'll like my posts, or buy my book, or come over to Hive which I've been telling them to do, or maybe they won't. But the chances they do goes up, and I lose absolutely nothing in the process except time, which I probably would have spent watching youtube videos or complaining anyway.
I've been feeling a bit down about not being as relevant IRL as I used to be. Is it cause I'm bald now? Is it cause everyone has families now? Is it cause the algorithms? Is it cause I've been "a dreamer" my whole life and everyone is sick of it? I feel a bit sad when I make a video and put it up on social media and it gets 3 views and 2 likes.
In my mind, I think that my videos will help people and make their lives better. But if that's what I want to do, why don't I just do it. Instead of pushing people to do it my way, why don't I come to them. It doesn't mean I have to come to them with the sole intention of advertising what I'm doing. I may not even bother to tell all of them what I'm doing.
Last week I messaged 10 or so old friends with the main goal of trying to make their day. In the end, I only mention the book I just wrote to 4 of them, and the youtube channel to one of them. I am sure that in the end, even if none of them check out my book, there will still be a net gain for me, and if not, at least I practiced the most important skill in the world which is moving people. There is no loser in this.
So that's my new method for social media marketing. Be awesome and tell people how much they mean to me, make jokes that make them laugh, and put others in a good mood. If that doesn't work, well fuck it all then, let me starve. The world I want to build is one where people enjoy giving to others and are rewarded for doing so. They give for the sake of giving and there is enough going around where they don't even think about how they will receive in the act of giving. This is true abundance. I have to start with me.
This is what's been on my mind these few days as I try to promote my new book. I'm no longer in a hurry to help it rise in the rankings at Amazon or Apple Books. I'm just interested in reconnecting with all the great and decent people I've known over the years and eventually, naturally, I do believe a bunch of them will be interested, and some may read it and even give me 5 stars.
Meanwhile when it comes to my coaching, I'm starting to think that maybe the best thing I can do is be more honest about my approach, even if it comes across as strange or unique. The fact is, I don't need 99% of people to understand. I just need 0.001% of people to resonate enough to give it a shot. I will feel much better doing what comes natural to me, and enjoying the whole process but always with the mission of making people laugh and think and grow.
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