Every human being is different. It is not likely that two kids born to the same set of parents will be same in terms of thinking and behaviour. And when kids born to same parents are so different from each other, how can you expect a totally different individual to think like you.
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I don't get along with my mother in law and I am very open about it. I never argue with her and nod my head in affirmation whenever she instructs me to do something. In my 13 years of marital life, I must have argued with her just once. But, even she knows that I hate her to the core and even I know she shares the same feelings for me. My husband/her son also know the cold war between us. He understands that I have a reason to hate her and he also understands that there is no way he can put some sense into his stubborn mother's head. So he simply ignores it all.
My friends often tell me that I should convince my husband to put his mother into an old age home. She has two sons, but she has strained her relationship with both. Well she is annoying, she is stubborn, but she is his mother. Would I allow my mother to stay in an old age home ? Obviously no, then how can I expect him to do that to his own mother. I respect her as a human and that makes me nod my head to her talks Everytime even when deep inside I feel a burning sensation.
It is hard to live a dual life, but I guess it is worth it for my husband gets to live his life in peace and my kids get a healthy environment at home.