There are somethings that we take as fairly tales until they eventually happen to us.
“Joseph, if a soldier catches you with those camouflage pants you’ll be in trouble!”
I got these warnings from at least two people whenever I put on those pair of camouflage pants but I wouldn’t take them seriously. To me, nothing was wrong. I was just a young teenager then. By my appearance you could tell that I was obviously not a threat.
There even came a time someone posed to be a shoulder one certain time I went to a shop in the evening to buy something.
“Hey! Why are you putting on those trousers? Are you a soldier?!”
I was really terrified at the sound of his voice and the intimidating look on his face. Until he let out a laugh and broke out of character.
“I’m just messing with you boy. I’m no soldier,” he said, trying to control his laughter.
I heaved a sigh of relief. Although I didn’t find it funny at all.
“Though you might want to seize from wearing those outside,” he said, pointing at my camouflage trouser. “A real soldier could get pissed seeing you in those.”Perhaps that was a clear sign that I should stop moving around with those trousers, but I still refused to adhere.
Until one fateful evening, the jokes were now on me. I came out around 9pm to get something. Of all the pants I could wear to got out that night, I put on the camouflage. After walking about some distance from the gate, I saw a figure in front of me in the dark night pointing a flash light at my trousers. I thought it was someone trying to play pranks with me. But when the flash light still remained focused on me I became offended.
“Hey you, come this way,” the person said, pointing the flash towards his left side.
I still wasn’t finding it funny. Until I came closer and recognised his face. It was a soldier (a real one this time around) that I had seen a couple of times in my area.
I obeyed him and went to his side as he instructed.
“Mr Man, are you a soldier?”
“N-no, no, Sir,” I suddenly began to stutter.
“Is your father a soldier?”
“No, Sir.”
“Do you have any connection with anyone that is a soldier?”
“No, Sir.”
“Then why are you putting on our uniform?”
“I- I—-“
“My friend speak up!”
“It was a mistake, Sir.”
“Don’t worry. You’re going with me to the guard room after I am done patrolling. That’s where you’ll spend your night this evening.”
I started trembling. I had heard about the scary tales of the “guard room” from my friends. It was like a mini-hell. I tried crying but the tears refused to come out. What would my parents do if they suddenly found out I was nowhere to be found.I tried apologising.
“I’m very sorry, Sir. I didn’t know what I was doing,” I pleaded.
“Ignorance is not an excuse to the law,” he replied.
The soldier wasn’t smiling at all. People with shops close by were witnessing the whole thing but minded their business. The soldier didn’t seem to be joking at all. This was probably the most terrified moment I have ever had in my whole life.
Just about that time, a friend of the soldier, a civilian like me, was passing by. He stopped, greeted the soldier and had a little chat with him. While he was about to leave I summoned courage and rushed to him. I narrated the whole thing and begged him to help me plead with the soldier to let me go. The soldier saw what was going on and laughed.
“Oh, so you are reporting me to him,” he said, as he continued laughing.
After talking with the man, he looked at me and took pity on me. Then he went to meet the soldier and talked with in low tones. The shoulder then nodded his head.
The man met me and said, “Don’t worry, he’ll let you go.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
The man then waved at the soldier and left.
“So you reported me to him, right?”
“I am very sorry, Sir. It would not happen again,” I was almost crying this time around.
“What were you going to buy, by the way?”
“Recharge card.”
“Oya go and buy, and get for me too.”
“Okay, Sir,” I replied excitedly, as I rushed and buy them.
“Hey, where are you rushing to? You didn’t even ask me which network I am using, you this boy.”
“Sorry, Sir. Which network am I getting you?”
“MTN”
“Okay, Sir!”
And that was how I ended up spending extra money on recharge card that I didn’t plan for. But it was way better than spending the night in a guard room. Perhaps he was bluffing. But I wasn’t planning on finding out.