The rate at which breakups do happen now is getting alarming that something needs to be done about it. A few days back, a friend of mine narrated her breakup ordeal with me, she was feeling so broken on the inside and could not hold back her tears. In fact, everyone already knew she was engaged to the man and were waiting for their wedding day until he called it a quit. I asked what happened and from what she said the guy told her, I could pick a couple of things from it. It is really not always the seemingly big things that can wreck a relationship, but even the little negligible things can do a lot of damages. Here, we shall take a look at what to avoid in a relationship so as to prevent it from nosediving.
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The first one is to avoid feeling entitled. A lot of people, especially if the person is good-looking, think that they are doing the other a favour by being in a relationship with them. Why be in the relationship with the person in the first place if you think you are doing them a favour? After all, both of you should be beneficial to each other, not one person wanting everything to be done for them because they feel they are doing someone a favour. I once heard a lady say "a whole me, in a relationship with him; a spec like me..." I mean, why would you proceed in the relationship if you know that he is not your spec?
You should remove entitlement mentality and the likes from you. You will be surprised how people feel entitled over what is not theirs, simply because they are in relationship. Just to remind you; that you are friendly with someone or in a relationship with them does not mean that you should share everything that they have, so do not be entitled to anything. If you remove entitlement, you will see reasons to remain grateful and appreciative over even the little input of your partner. Why some people do not appreciate their partner is because they feel that their partner did what they are supposed to do. Okay what if they did not do it, what will you do about it?
In addition to this, there are things that you should not be stingy with, things like; "thank you, I am sorry, please, excuse me, etc." They may look very small and negligible, but they hold the power to determine the trend of events in a relationship. You will be surprised how many relationships have failed simply because none of the partners wants to yield nor apologise and they are both claiming right. That you apologise does not mean you were wrong but might just be for peace to reign. More so, you should know that you cannot be right at all times, so recognise your wrongs and promptly apologise for them.
Another thing that should be avoided in a relationship is to avoid things that make your partner feel less of themself. One of my friends once told me that his partner always demeans him in front on her family members because she is from a "well to do" background. It got to a point that he lost interest in following her to any function that would bring him together with her people. This is because each time she is with them, she would be doing as if he is not up to par to be in a relationship with her. It was like he was the only one in the relationship. Well, needless to say that the relationship did not last and he had to call it a quit. Everyone has ego and should not be bruised by someone's partner.
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The last thing that needs to be avoided in a relationship is comparison. Someone else's relationship or what you think happens around another person should not set the standards for you. That someone's partner does something for them should not mean that yours will replicate the same thing. You do not know what surrounds that actions, and of course, there is difference in pocket size. Learn to be contented with what you see and then hope for the better. If you feel that your man or your woman should model their actions after someone else, then it might bring a serious problem. Learn to live within what you can afford. After all, relationship is not a "do or die" matter.
In this era, social media has exposed a lot of people to certain lifestyle as seen on screen. Some of these lifestyles are flaunted by celebrities with high income, and if you, in your own little ability, is being pressured to do the same thing, it might put intense strain on your pocket. More so, some of these lifestyle and relationships that you see on social media are fake, and some are scripted. So do not try to fashion your relationship to compete with someone that may not even be aware of your existence. Remember, it is a relationship between you and your partner, not with the entire community of Internet users.
Thanks for reading