A few years back, during the days of my internship, I observed something happen that taught me a very vital lesson. There was this employee who constantly rejected advices from the supervisor. She thought that she had known everything and that she was more qualified. Actually, she was taken in with her Master's Degree, but the supervisor only had Bachelor's Degree. This made her to feel that she was more superior and more qualified, not considering the fact that the supervisor had stayed long in the organisation and had gotten relative experience. Well, this thing kept happening. When it was time for promotion, she was overlooked despite her qualifications and skills. It was simply her uncontrolled ego that limited her opportunities. This is why you need to put ego in check.
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One of the things that I have observed is that ego is not always obvious. Sometimes it can come in form of pride, stubbornness, excessive feeling of self-importance, or the constant feeling to prove yourself right. It is true that confidence is healthy, but what is bad is uncontrolled ego, which can destroy relationships, opportunities, and limit growth. You will be surprised how lots of people lose valuable opportunities and chances in life, not because they lack talent, nor because they are not intelligent, but simply because their overinflated ego prevented them from listening, learning, and growing.
It is uncontrolled ego that makes someone to think that they have known everything that needs to be known. When someone feels too proud to take corrections or to accept advice, their growth will become affected negatively. It does not matter how educated, skilled, talented, or learned someone may be, the truth remains that there are still lots of new things that they need to learn. But ego can actually close the mind of the person and create a resistance to improvement. This is because it takes humility and meekness to be able to accept that you do not know as much as you should and to learn more.
One of the dangers of ego is that it damages relationships. People who have uncontrolled ego find it difficult to admit to their mistake, or to apologise, rather they will always seek justification for it or blame someone else for it. They do not even treat people rightly. They always seek superiority, attention, validation, and feel like the main character. Over time, this attitude will begin to drive people from them. You have to understand that good relationships are not built on pride nor on ego, but on respect, humility, and understanding. You need humility to be able to treat people with respect that they deserve.
Ego does not only affect opportunities in personal life, it also affects them in professional life. The truth is that teachers, mentors, employers, and even leaders will value you more when you are teachable and not arrogant. Someone who often refuses guidance, or often acts like they are above learning will constantly lose valuable opportunities for growth and advancements. After all, you cannot add more water to a cup that is already full of water. In the same way, if you see yourself as knowing all, it will limit you from learning more. More often than not, talents and skills may open the door, but it is your character and your attitude that will determine if the door will be kept open.
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Uncontrolled ego can also becloud people from seeing their weaknesses. You need self-awareness to be able to grow, but you will need humility to be able to give yourself the honest review that you need. The moment you believe that you are always right, you will stop improving. At that point, you will ignore feedback, repeat the same mistakes, and may even be stuck in the same unhealthy pattern. But if you are humble, you will learn more, and you will keep growing.
It is worthy to note that controlling your ego does not mean losing your confidence. You can still believe in yourself without looking down on someone else. Having a healthy confidence actually allows you to grow while also respecting others. But you should not allow it to degenerate into uncontrolled ego by feeling that you are better than everyone else.
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