One of the most powerful conversations you will ever have is the conversation with yourself. Everyday, people constantly think, people interpret things, and they speak to themselves internally. These inner dialogue is often what is called "self-talk." This self-talk plays a very significant role in shaping one's actions, their attitude, emotions, decisions, and even their choices. You may not notice it, but the truth is that the way you talk to yourself will go a long way to determine how you see life, and how you welcome or respond to challenges, and even how you solve them.
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Something very funny happened some years back. There was this professional exam that we were to write when I was in school. The exam was such that the cutoff mark was very high and the rate at which people failed it was too much, yet some people also passed it. So when it came to our turn, some of the students kept complaining about how difficult the exam was, and this affected their attitude towards it. Their mindset towards it was negative, and it also affected their level of preparedness. They were seen not to be serious with studying because they had already concluded that the exam was very tough and difficult.
On the other hand, some of us saw it as "doable." This gave us the motivation to pursue after it with the whole strength that we had. In fact, we called some facilitators to help put us through, we even got hold on some post questions to understand the points that we were supposed to study. We finally took the exam. When the result came out, we did excellently well. However, the other people struggled to be above average, while some of them scored below the cutoff mark. You see, everyone faced the same "tough exam," but how we approached it was what influenced our actions. Our self-talk and the thoughts we gave to ourselves about the exam determined how we prepared for it. While their negative self-talk discouraged them, our positive self-talk encouraged and motivated us, and the result became evident.
Self-talk is the thought and the messages that run through your mind. These thoughts are not always always conscious, they can come subconsciously. But the truth about them is that they can affect one's behaviour. For example, someone who constantly tells themself that they can learn new things will likely approach life in a better way than someone who always focuses on fear and limitations. It is the words that you speak to yourself on the inside that will form your belief, which influences your actions, and then your actions will be what will lead to the results you see in life.
Self-talk also has a way of shaping one's confidence. Confidence does not only come from external praises, but can also come from what someone believes about themselves inside them. As a matter of fact, what you think about yourself will determine how you see yourself, and this is what will build your confidence. When you constantly remind yourself of your ability to learn, to improve, to develop, and to overcome challenges, it will show in your positive actions. But if you try to convince yourself that success is impossible, it may make you to draw back from making any attempt towards your goals.
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Self-talk also influences your decision-making in ways you may not even expect. Before taking actions for example, a lot of people normally have conversation within themselves to know what they can do and cannot do, and the consequences. These thoughts can either create the motivation to act or discourage one from acting. It is the way you speak to yourself that will affect the choices you have. You will be surprised how lots of opportunities are right before you, but your thoughts and your mindset will determine if you will take note of them, and how well you will take advantage of them.
It is worthy to note that self-talk has to be realistic and not some impossible daydream. You do not have to be dishonest with yourself because you want to be positive. You do not have to pretend that challenges do not exist because you want to have a healthy self-talk. Rather than denying the existence of challenges and end up weakening yourself, you need to welcome the challenges, then choose constructive thoughts that will support your growth.
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