A few days back, I was having a discourse with someone and she told me that she does not have any friend. I quickly took a look at the way her life is turning out to be and I had to advise her to get a good friend because she was already becoming lonely. The truth is that there are things that you can achieve alone and there are things that you can never achieve by just your input alone. More often than not, you can easily secure the input of people if they are your friends than if they are total strangers.
Image from Pixabay
There are some people that, by reason of some factors (like beauty, outward appearance, etc) make friends easily. However, the bulk of the work lies in retaining them because this goes way beyond outward appearance. For example, you need to make some sacrifices for each other. Having a good friend is not just a way to benefit alone, you also have to put in your own and do your part. In a friendship where just one person benefits constantly and the other person is the one bearing all the sacrifices, it will not be long and the friendship will implode.
In a friendship, you also seek for what you will do and the sacrifices to make for each other. A true friendship does not get maintained by one person acting in manner of parasitism but by both parties having each other's back in a mutualistic or symbiotic way where both of them will benefit. More so, you do not have to wait until your friends do good first before you show your own goodness, you can be the one to show your goodness first. To get the most out of friendship, you have to focus less on yourself and even lower your expectations and rather look for what to do for the other party.
If your friends know that you will go all out for them, they too will do the same for you and that is how friendship is built. However, if they get the slightest idea that you are only keeping them for what you will benefit from them, you may lose them. As a matter of fact, if your friends cannot categorically pick out the good that you have done for them and the only thing that is visibly glaring is the things that you have gained from them, then you are not a good friend and you need to improve. Before you expect something from your friend, first ask yourself what your friends have gained from you. Remember that you are building friendship and not charity organisation.
Apart from making sacrifices for the sustenance of your friendship, there is also a need to make yourself friendly. Your character and attitude should portray goodness and not otherwise. No true friend will be comfortable with someone that has a rude attitude or someone that is unfriendly. More often than not, why many people lose as much friends as they make may not be because they are not putting in sacrifices (in terms of material things) but it may be related to their attitude and their character. Yes, someone's character can scare a potential friend and they may not even see other good things about the person like their beauty.
Image from Pixabay
You will agree with me that even you yourself, you will not welcome someone that constantly treats you rudely in the guise of being "real," so do not expect others to welcome it too. I often hear people use "nature" as an excuse for rudeness. The truth is that no one's nature is rude, it is only a choices you make. In the same way, no one's nature is good, it is only a choice that they had to make. If people see you as rude, it is not a nature, but what you have nurtured as a result of choice, but the truth is that you can still change and turn a fresh leaf. Before you act or react to someone's action, take a moment to consider the potential effects and consequences of such actions and know if you will be proud of them afterwards. Also considere how people will look at you after you have acted. All these are what to do to build good friendship.
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