I have seen people act out of anger, but when they calm down, they start to regret their actions. I remember what a friend told me that lead to the breakup between her boyfriend and herself. They had a little misunderstanding on something that was later found to be untrue. But out of anger, the lady mistakenly flipped her handbag and it handed on the guy's new smart TV and it broke. The guy simply saw it as a red flag, and was like "if you could break TV before coming in, what will you break after marriage?" That was how he called off everything. These would have been avoided if she managed her anger well. A lot of what people do out of anger do not actually end well. This is why you need to be careful how you act, especially when your emotions are heightened.
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You will be surprised how lots of people have lost out of amazing relationships, good opportunities, and reputations simply because of anger management issues. I have come to discover that there is almost nothing that you say in anger, or do in anger that will be worth it at the end. More often than not, it is always full of regrets and wishing it never happened. The anger may fade in a couple of minutes, but the effects of what you said or did in anger would continue and may even last years. This is why it is very important to learn how to control your anger. This is not to suppress your emotions nor invalidate your feelings, but to secure your future.
There is a kind of false positive that anger gives to you. It makes you feel that your actions and reactions are justified, or that you are defending yourself. But realistically, anger does not get any problem solved, rather it may even create one. Anger also has a way of beclouding someone's judgement and replaces their wisdom with impulse. That is, they will see themselves acting out of impulse and not logically. If you observe well, you will discover that calm people have the tendency of winning arguments, not because the other person is weak, but because their own mind is clearer. When you are calm, you tend to think more rationally.
Managing your anger does not mean that you are denying the obvious offence, nor does it mean that you are pretending that an injustice does not exist, but it means that you are choosing the right way and the right time to respond. You will be surprised that a calm response may even have more potency than a loud reaction in most cases. There are some times that even a silence can have more voice than shouting loud. Walking away from anger is not an act of cowardice as some people may think, but it is a very wise choice to make, and an act of self-respect
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Each time you take a pause, especially in anger, before acting, you reclaim power within yourself, and you master your mind over situation. The little pause you take can make a very big difference between regrets and progress. Whenever you want to act, try to ask yourself if the action will matter in the future, and if you will gladly welcome the consequences of the actions. By answering these questions truthfully, you will shift your mindset from emotions to intention. The offence is not an excuse why you acted in anger, but it is a matter of the choices that you have made.
Anger may feel good at the moment, because it has a way of falsely making it feel like you are in control. It also looks like a way to relieve tension. But at the end, you will realise that you have simply replaced temporary pain with a permanent loss. The scars gotten for words spoken in anger can stay for long. The broken trusts from anger can take ages to be rebuilt. The few moments of uncontrolled reactions can wreck what took years to build. This is why you have to be careful not to allow anger to control you. It is not bad to get angry, of course you cannot stop offenses, but you should not allow your anger to control or influence you.
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