Even when you don't want to learn anything.
You may have noticed that I haven't been around much. Granted, I tend to take time off when work gets busy. This time my break wasn't intentional and I wasn't busy in the traditional sense.
I can now tell you, that is not the case. Spending my Yule this last December in jail... well more accurately, in holding, taught me a few things.
Alas, anyone that knows me knows that I am hardly anything but hardcore. At least when it comes to breaking the law. Sure, I don't wear my seatbelt like I should. But that is more laziness and stupidity... and the fact that the ticket for such an infraction is only ten dollars in Idaho. Most of the time I try to keep my criminalities behind closed doors like any good dogmatic religious type. Needless to say, on Yule (December 21) of 2018, the police pulled me over and I made the dumb mistake of talking to the police.
Good times indeed.
If you want to know some of the details, I did post my thoughts on my jail experience here on Periscope.
The long and short of it, as I have been trying to make sense of my life as of late, is that I could either be bitter or do better. Once the depression breaks, I always aim for better.
Of course, the first lesson that I am pretty solid about is that illegal drugs are going to eventually get you in trouble. It doesn't matter if you do them, someone around you does or if you just hang out in shady trap houses. Granted, most of us shouldn't be hanging out in shady trap houses, those places aren't good for anyone. Having drugs around, being liberal with them and the like though, in a state like Idaho, is bound to get you in trouble. You have two options, hide better or be sober. For the time being, I am choosing to just be sober. It's easier that way. Plus, I am probably going to be on probation anyway and the man has a weird fetish for urine samples.
Nothing specifically against cops. I am sure there are good people that decide that they are going to make the world a better place by creating a punishment infused police state (because forcing people to behave always works) but I do realize the need for law and order. That being said, I can't say that I will ever really trust cops again.
The fact of the matter is, no matter how often I have preached that transparency is key, that is a tool of trust. The world isn't always there to be on your side and this includes those that protect and serve. The problem with telling the truth is that those in power are searching for a reason to justify their actions. They also don't seem to be used to the truth. My whole experience was filled with, "So, ma'am, what you mean is..."
What I mean is what I say. There isn't an ulterior meaning. Transparency, look it up.
That doesn't bode well as a philosophy when dealing with the police. Duly noted.
They don't feed you food in Idaho jails. They feed you bricks of shit stopping slough. So gross. So painful. Trust me on this one.
I should have learned this long ago. However, I did not. I think I am too trusting. Ultimately, when you break a law... not if but when... because we all do... the best thing that you can do is find a person that understands the law to help you. Lucky for me, I can't afford representation so I am looking forward to a felony and probably probation. I don't get in trouble usually. In fact, this is my first (and hopefully last time) and so they offered me a plea. We will see in about a week, how that goes.
With everything already going on, this is more stress than I can take most days. I will try to post, but until this is all over I may not be around as much. Since I did have time on my hands, I have art and a few topics to talk about, so I will try to post them this week while things are calm before the storm.
Transparency is really important to me, so I do what I can to create an open dialogue with you all. Thank you for allowing me to share and for reading.
All images were created with imgflip on their meme generator.
