there must be something wrong with me

i have bought more food in one week than i did in the last two months ...

some feeling of ... ?

if i dont hamster then it might push me SO far i spend it all on STEEM ?

maybe ?

hahah hah haaaaaa ... someone pushed the wrong buttons again i think ...

the answer is not masjen bij Lorraine, want DAT is WEIRKEN en DIT NIET

the answer is also not zuipen bij sintj annaken

want dat is weggesmeten geldj

what am i ? a "hater" ?

that's one of those rich-kid dreamworld television words, right ? if i am a hater than i'm probably one of the most sunny people around here LOL dear , dear o dear, this is not beverly hollywood , bitch ...

can hardly make it to the store and back without being picked up lately, homeboy here, homeboy there,

thanks D , J , O , W C &C for respect and putting up with me and all that but all of you been through more than me, right ? as far as i know, so its probably that,

and if I HAVE something wrong with me, this place has it even worse, the story i get EVERY time from EVERY one tells one thing : this hellhole is gonna get a whoopin' by the far right in the next elections and then you can call people "hater" all you want

then you will WISH i was you fucking overlord instead

well then, i was gonna clean but it pushed me, right ? so i bought steem and food as a kneejerk reaction

now what am i gonna do with all that food ?

prepare for the coming war and the rise of der fuehere ?

what ?

rudyardcatling transfer 100 STEEM to monster magnet ? whats that supposed to mean ? that means you assume i would be zuipen bij sintj annaken right now ?

pff

tsjah ...

het leven zoals het is

EN DAT IS NIET WEIRKEN

want DAS NIET ME DE AANNNEN ...

you either gonna destroy me completely or you gonna get out of my way

you have all that power

you can destory me, i have no illusions about that

that STILL wont turn me into mister handshake day

that still doesnt change the fact that i simply CANT, not just WONT do it anymore AND

i NEVER WAS YOUR DOG IN THE FIRST PLACE

here, have a slice of reality

24 hours of entropy

and go fuck yourself

and hater-da-hater-da hate ... you know there's only a certain kind of subculture using that word ?

usually blings a lot more than brains, lots of daddy money ... never seen a small room from the inside

but talk a WHOLE LOT OF SHIT ?

maslows hammer ... do you always hammer people into being positive and doing it how its done ?

have you ever lived on the edge of a black hole where the laws of attraction break down ?

my guess is you don't

so that hammer

can't touch this

alfanso and minnowvotes are completely locked and blocked ...

well either that's the rich fucks with their guaranteed lose money bots

or someone found the perfect timing and numbers :))

i rely on that less and less anyway

15:15 ceci n'est pas content ?

ben moi j'suis pas

that's for sure ...

past sleepytime ... there's such a nice mist outside, last night there was falling mist

3 am ...

must have been a weird phenomenom before the days of Newton in the metaverse, my cat still thinks its something to watch out for.

You know the fog is THICK, but its not raining, but you can HEAR it rain

it's 3AM , normal people sleep, no one outside except the cats and the occasional escaped ferret ... rats don't last long here

all is soooooo quiet, not one single stressed-out alphawave to collide with ...

the wind rustles ... ever so slightly through the autumn leaves that grasp on with their last bit of energy before they fall down

as all the high trees do

it starts with the leaves ? no they're smart enough to shed in order to survive ... basic economics

supply and demand in winter :)

hard times ...

the fog is SO thick it actually condenses against the leaves in the trees

and its like * its raining in the trees*

and nowhere else

cityboy ...

DAYDWELLER

...

hater huh ?

me ?

that's not what your little sister said last time

i wish is had one of those fancy cameras ... and one of those galaxy things that cost more than a months wage for normal guttertrash ?

but i NEVER WILL UNLESS I CAN MAKE THE MONEY FROM HERE, INSIDE BEHIND MY DIAMOND TOWER WALLS

used to be ivory and i'm afraid the pushing is hardening it to adamant

yea well #BLA , you must take me for some mtv rap-bitch or something ... do you wanna take a look outside

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE FUCKING NEW YORK TO YOU ?

then what makes you think i trigger with that ? WHERE DO YOU GET THESE IDEAS ? What are you some fuckin' a.i. deep learning on normal people patterns from middle of the bell-curve cities ?

i got so much fucking coldcut now thats like three weeks or something, i feel like i wasted all that fucking money on food i didnt need cos i didnt even eat the rest yet ,

IM NOT A FUCKING HOBBIT ... this makes me feel bad, but that wont make much difference ... so now what ? stuff myself till im sick ?

or throw it away when it spoils ?

someone DID push the wrong buttons again didnt they ?

sleepytime ... if it wont let me sleep

i'll just take another pill, im through with not sleeping when i should be

oh yea 15:50 ... STOP, you say ?

there is not stopping , i burned the ships but they set the sea on fire thinking it would push me into THEIR straits ...

it's because i'm white isnt it ?

give you two seconds to pop that cliché brain of yours ...

HEH .. no NOT TO ME, to me its because im that cat, and you can NOT handle things you can't control, or measure in some cases, it NEEDS TO BE CLASSIFIED or its a potential hazard

now THAT, mah frend (<-sarc) is a reaction as primitive as it gets

it's because i'm white isnt it ?

the general reaction ... not standard black, not standard muslim ... not part of a minority , not gay ... not even FEMALE (yea well ...)
the guy who picked me up earlier ... SICK OF HAVING NO MONEY, desperately WANTS that job, doesnt wanna do it on his own, doesnt wanna go "back to the way it was" either ... got into some serious fight LOOONG ago ... SERIOUS like as not seen on tv ... hospitalized brink of death-serious ... subsequent disability and all that but after a while

you know, after a while the answer is "masjen bij lorraine" and "get over it" .. that's just how real men do, right?

ofcourse ...

but after so many years ? you sit there in front of that white shirt douchebag with the expensive shoes, how come youve been out of the job so long ?

you wanna lie ?

tell the truth ? you get sympa , you get smiles, you get REALLY cosy treatment, and in the end you never hear from them again, after a few smiles like that too many

every smile is a potential lie

statejob keeps pushing, he's not on disability after all, so "he got over it"

no one wants him though, who the hell would trust all that ?

circle ? spiral ... no equality law includes him

or ME for that matter, no law says you NEED TO HAVE X PERCENT OF CRIMINAL RECORDS TO BE EQUAL

rehabilition
, i told him i said i dont bother anymore, i dont give a fuck if they put me in a place like that its 24 hours before there's humbug and you know who gets the blame anyway right, after that you got evern WORSE papers because you got "a bad C4" as they call it, the employers lobby says you didnt roll over

and you lose like fucking social rights

...

and then americans come talk about their views on socialism, and rich fucks come tell me handshake day is the way

WHERE WERE YOU ?

you WERE NEVER HERE

GOD MOTHERFUCKING DAM I COULD GET SO FUCKING ANGRY ABOUT THAT

alas i'm out of fucks to give so if you think it's a threat

i dont care, its the last stand for me, you wanna give that job ?

i know a few dozen people who will happily take it

but you gonna have to strongarm the employer first

you never see the problem where these people have unrealistic expectations so

#FUCKFLANDERS , i think you're in for a get-what-you-asked-for and im not gonna like it either but HEY