So today Imma take a few minutes to amuse myself with a bit of fuckin about. Stretch out my sense of humour, So in advance if you suffer from Penis Related Trauma or Erectile disorders... You might wanna stop here.
Ok we all good? Still waiting to say I didn't warn you?
Well don't say I didn't warn you.
Tonight starts out with the classic. By yours truly.
My testies were my besties until I did urbex in windbreakers. After removing my balls from the thorns...
No I will not reverse that sentence.
Seriously I did not show you the state of my bullocks. Not bollocks they seem to have been released into the china shop.
However Today I have discovered something amazing.
I found an incredible product from the good old days.
Knacker lacquer, It adds more lustre to your cluster and perfection to your erection.
Ok its an old one but a goodie. I didn't come up with that one.
Its A joke I have used for many years. It apparently started out in the 1960s as a piss take of a commercial That was on TV.
Today I thought Id do my own variation, you know make something up to tickle my own funny bone if nothing else.
Sooooo....
For this Infomercial I have decided to pitch, shill, promote, affiliate link only, no direct earnings etc....
Albert Halls Patented:
Tired of those faulty protective cups and support devices?
Do those cricket balls, baseballs and soccer cleats get you down?
Do you enter the scrum fearing fisticuffs in frightful areas?
Tired of too many shots below the belt?
If you answered yes to any of those above then...
Fear no more! There is a simple and low cost single application product that requires surgical removal. Never be in doubt again.
Bearing and Shaft Shield™ has helped me immensely with its 2 part resin application method and rock solid customer support. It has been truly on the side of my ghoulies.
In a Word, Life changing.
Running from the police? Jacking a barbed wire fence? Simply being present at a child birth? We got you covered.
First Simply Apply the anaesthetic.
Then Just use the provided mold and insert the straw into the tip of your area to be protected. Pour the resin, ignore the heat...
( Its a Chemical reaction not who you did last night)
If you need to cry... do it at this point.
*Wait for 1 hour and your set! *
The one and only-
Bearing and Shaft Shield™
Its not just a Protective product its an enhancement. Never suffer from droopy dong again!
(Its advisable to take an enhancement medication before the casting process if you use our product for a sexual disorder.)
Medical professionals agree its far more effective than Viagra with the added benefits stopping those pesky premature eruptions. You'll never feel a Thing!
Try our product for the low low introductory fee of 99.99 in this one time only offer.
Unsatisfied?
Have a problem?
Call our customer service helpline at (0FFS) 800 ITS-HARD
Please note
All purchases, damages, blocked urethras and any required surgeries are not covered in our return policy.
No penises were harmed in the making of this infomercial.
Thanks for joining me down here if you managed to get this far. I appreciate you taking 5 minutes of your life to indulge my stupidity.
Have a great Day/ Noon/ Evening/ Night!
All photos taken on my chinesium Xiaomi Mi 11 lite
So 11 days in... and feeling much better for taking a load off.
I decided I'm going to have a bit of fun on this 30 posts in 30 days. I'm going to do a post 31, and a giveaway on the 31st post, cause some months have 31 days or so I've been told.
In spite of my rough and ready appearance I'm an Antique dealer I know I already said it.
So it'll probably be old shit in your mailbox.
Stay tuned and engage down below . For every post from day 1 if you comment on it you will get one entry and a chance to win.
Then at the end of the 30 posts, on day 31 There will be a random raffle you will get a chance to win....
Really cool old shit.
