Whatever I accept and allow in others I accept and allow in me. I know someone that likes to drink a lot, then drives and also takes other drugs. If I accept and allow that this individual comes to my place in this state is not good for me or for them, I have to draw the line and tell him I won't accept and allow to see them when they are in this state. And yes I might lose him but best to lose someone that might come back once he is sorted out than having someone close that abuses substances - which is something I won't accept and allow in me or others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear E getting angry with me for saying to him that I won't see him when he is drunk/on drugs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear E getting violent because I say I will not see him unless he is sober.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that it not seeing E when he is on drugs is best for me and for him.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept E when he is on drugs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be friends with E.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that accepting E on drugs is not being his friend.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that not accepting E while he is on drugs is what is best for me and for him.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear E aggressivity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear putting limits as to what will I accept and allow near me and in my home and what not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that setting limits is the best I can do in this situation.
When and as I see myself fearing an aggressive reaction from E- I stop, I breathe.
I realize that fear is not real but an illusion.
And thus, I commit myself to talk to E despite my fear.
I originally wrote this post here: http://bipolarsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2018/08/day-89-acceptance-and-allowance.html
