I'm super uncomfortable taking these... so here i is, as is.
I guess I want to be seen - someone - who lived - on this planet - however briefly.
Hope? Search? A path to somewhere? Anywhere? I'm just exhausted by the endless family trauma. The endless repetition of my mistakes over and over. Sticking my fingers in my ears. Putting on headphones and turning up the volume so loud I can't hear what they are saying. 99.99 % of it is the same thing. Over and over. I can't fix it. It just makes me feel awful. I'm going in circles trying to find something to look forward to. The things that make life fun and exciting. Worth living. Family is impossible. For me. I don't know about everyone else. Just for me. I would throw money at all of it just for relief but I have none. Bad blogger.