Thank you for your reply. I wish I could write something that makes sense. I can't figure anything out. One thing I learned about myself is that writing anything. Even short captions is something I hate doing. I'm incompatible with social media and texting. It tortures my mind and trying to explain it just makes me look like a stupid fool. There was a time when I didn't have go through this on a constant non stop basis. Without writing anything most people assume I don't give shit about my work or their work. It's not true but I just end up stuck there.

I have some watercolors and a couple of brushes. That's all I have left from a lifetime of acquiring art supplies. I'm unable to figure how to paint extremely small. I have no table or space. It's too painful to sit on the floor. I've made a ruin of my life and it's another reason I rarely write anything.so here I did it again. All the reasons why I can't. can't do anything. I'm a textbook example for self help coaches and that sort of thing on what not to be and do.

when I'm not taking care of my 95 yr old mother I go to a small park and walk in the shade under the trees. I get maybe 2 or three hours by myself a day. The rest of time were crammed in this horrible tiny, hot apt. Summer is here and there are literally millions of people everywhere. I have zero privacy. To be honest don't want to be on this planet anymore.