Thank you for sharing your story. Although it doesn't help, for sure most people's lives don't go anywhere close to anything they pictured when they were young. I know that doesn't help to know it.

I've always been creative, but didn't make that part of me the main part of my life, mostly because I didn't really see it as a viable option. I didn't start creating more till around 2012. I can't say I'm good at anything though, but I enjoy it all the same. Sometime I ponder what I might have accomplished if I had dropped what I thought was what I was supposed to do and started early on and I wonder if I would be really good at some kind of art by now if I did. Unfortunately, there is no life do-over.

I guess you know why some artists from the past painted or drew on anything they could get their hands on and we see their work on cardboard and random wood boards and etc. Like you, they were compelled to create however they could make it happen, ON whatever they could put their hands on.

That's something that you became ill on something in the oil paints. Although I can't name names, I've read through the years of some painters that happened too, some didn't survive from it. I don't suppose oils would be the great thing to use in a very small space, but acrylics or water colors can do some amazing things too and they are much safer and cheaper. I bet it would enrich your life to at least be doing some part of it, even if it is on a smaller scale. Of course, just because I think it, doesn't make it so.

I do see that you are touching some part of your creativity with the photography, but I also know it's not the same.