“Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.” — Ziad K. Abdelnour
Most people when burnt out or depressed, prefer the company of others. Mental battles are tough when you're alone because you're truly alone in the arena that is located in that big head of yours.
For physical challenges, you have countless solutions; your body itself has its methods of healing, and there's professional treatment too. Then there's the presence of our loved ones, which itself is quite comforting. Mental battles though, of emotions, of the things we can't change, fear of failure, and the habit of harsh self-criticism; to cope with such things is quite punishing, and sometimes scary.
If only there was a delete button for such thoughts...
Of course, when we have others surrounding us, these thoughts start to simmer down a bit. But for how long can you rely on others and their presence? At the end of the day, it's your battle, and no one's coming to save you.
During such times, some prefer to go for a cup of coffee or tea with friends and acquaintances and conversate a little. Some like to walk alone, and some would rather travel together.
I, however, prefer a bit of alone time these days...
ᴵᵐᵃᵍᵉˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳᵃˡˡ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿᵗ ᵃʳᵉ ᵐʸ ᵒʷⁿ ᵘⁿˡᵉˢˢ ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵐᵉⁿᵗᶦᵒⁿᵉᵈ
It wasn't always like this, but I guess it is what it is now.
Even when I'm called upon to hang out sometimes, I may not participate. It's not like I hate meeting up with people now and then. I love meeting up with friends once in a few months, maybe watch a movie together, sit at the park, and conversate about our different views, hobbies, topics, and new opportunities.
Yet, these days my means of seeking refuge and healing has simply become a few days of solitude. It's the most effortless and minimal form of rejuvenation for me. I'll probably stay indoors all day, watch a movie, or a documentary, learn and study something new, or delve into one of my hobbies.
I guess I choose to keep it that way because my work life has become so cumbersome, that whenever I get a bit of free time, I choose peace and quiet over everything else. It has become the one true solution. Even though most of it is mental, the weight of it all, I can feel it sometimes.
But, will it stay that way forever? I don't think so...
One day these worries and emotional/mental baggage won't be a thing, and I'll look back and wonder how I pulled it off. Yet, new challenges will appear, probably heavier too. It doesn't get easier or lighter with time, we just develop elasticity, sometimes callouses, a stronger shield that's better at repelling negative thoughts.
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” - Albert Camus
Yet, sometimes I just seem to prefer a bit of winter over summer...
