image generated using Gemini AI
A lot of us grew up in families where we learned how to love from our parents; while some had bad examples, others had good ones. While some individuals grew up where love was toxic between parents, others grew up in an environment where love speaks loudly. It is still possible that our parents hide the rotten part of love from their kids, only to show them the good parts. Such children grow up to believe that love is perfect, and when they don’t seem to find the perfect love that they so much longed for, they run as fast as they can.
We watch movies and see what they say about love, setting high expectations for what our partners should be like when they say they love us. When we watch movies, we see the result of love, the grand gestures, but rarely do we see the process of it all, the silence, the boredom, the compromise, the shared bills. Movies only show us the sweet part of it, leaving the bitter part untouched, and when we meet this bitterness in relationships, we feel the love is not there or not true. Because we have different ideologies and understandings of love, we sometimes feel as though we are not loved enough by our partners or loved rightly.
I believe that love is a give-and-take thing and should never be one-sided or have one partner care more about the other. When you teach the other person how to love you, then there is a problem to begin with.
Love has become expensive these days because individuals keep demanding from their partners where the provision is not stable, men feel overwhelmed with everything, and sometimes find better comfort in being alone, having their sexual needs satisfied on calls.
The problem of having fewer people getting married or craving to be married is a result of the above, as well as having rampant infidelity happening in our society at large, people raising and taking care of children that are not theirs, men going outside marriage to commit atrocities while their wives are at home and unaware of what is happening.
A lot of individuals who are due and ready to get married have the excuse of the deteriorating economic condition of the country. They set goals and targets they want to meet, only to set another goal every time a goal is achieved, to prevent themselves from being committed for life. Marriage to a lot of individuals is an idea they love, but they are really scared to go into or are not ready for a commitment.
There used to be low rates of divorce, and it was a dream of every man and woman to get married someday. Back in those days, individuals were matched and would get married even before knowing each other. It was during their stay together that they learned about each other. Marriages before now had a higher success rate, with them live long in the process. A good marriage is a blessing to both parties, and when we do find the spark, we should give marriage, love and a resting place.
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