Hello Neighbor,
Now that the raccoon menace has been eradicated from the tennis courts, the highly anticipated Tennis Meet can go off without a hitch tomorrow. I know you’ve all been a bit out of practice since the tennis courts were shut down during The War, but this is no excuse for poor performance. Even last Meet’s second place finisher Ronnie Bergstein has been practicing inside their own house, so no complaining. Bad sportsmanship shines a bad light on Our Neighborhood and will not be tolerated.
Personally, I love the biannual Tennis Meet. Pitting all Neighbors against one another in combat sports to ween out the stragglers is a fantastic way to cull our utopian paradise of all weakness.
Helpful tennis tips:
- Warm up and stretch when you wake up.
- Eat the balanced breakfast carefully chosen and grown for you by the Neighborhood. The Neighborhood knows you and what is best for your body.
- Don’t forget your equipment. Tennis rackets will not be provided, and you will not be allowed to exit the cage to go home for yours.
- Warm up and stretch before your match.
- Have fun!
Losers will be forcibly evicted from their homes, so don’t be afraid to take risks! 
Remember, participation is mandatory! Also there will be cookies and fruit juice in a cooler.
That is all.
(Looking to move into The Hood? All are welcome! Become one of Us here: https://beta.steemit.com/created/hive-154988 Be Our Neighbor.)