Closure. This magical way to close any spiritual and mental wound and let the past be the past. You heard about it, right?
People talk about closure all the time. A friend of mine just told me she's meeting someone from her past. What do I think about that? she wondered.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked. I know the history on this matter and I personally would not be down to meet with someone who hurt me.
"I need CLOSURE!" she answered.
What exactly is this "closure" that everyone seems to need?
The ending of a significant piece of one's life -- a relationship, a job, a stage of life, or a way of thinking -- may be difficult and even painful for many of us. Something that you once counted on as very important to your life is over and done.
Closure means finality; a letting go of what once was.
Psychology Today
Ok, it all sounds pretty therapeutic. Of course, when you hurt, you want it to stop. While closure usually refers to romantic relationships but as we see, it can refer to anything really. The only bad thing about closure though is this:
IT DOES NOT EXIST!
It is a made up concept. Who made it up, I am not sure: therapist?! MOVIES?! our need for patterns and symmetry in our life?!
All of the above?
What's certain is that "closure" implies that life is structured somehow around your experiences. In fact, we structure these experiences around life. End of school. end of a relationshop, end of a career. These things can hurt but also, eventually, after a long time, we seem them as a "period" in our life. A neat little box to add to the next box in our life.
Very nice.
But life doesn't work like that. In fact, life's most striking feature is " the unexpected". You don't know how and well will end. Why should your relationships be any different?
There's an inherent weakness to wanting "closure" from someone else. No one can give you that. It's for you to find in yourself and make peace with how things turned out by yourself. All else is a crutch that will never really give you what you really really want when you say you want closure: freedom from the past.
You can do worst by following the advice of... A MAGIC DOG.
But let's be real. We are humans. I know I am. It's hard to let go of anything and we dream of our favorite cup long after it is gone and never really really give up on the hope that it will, somehow, return to us.
Still, I stand by my words: No one else can give you "closure".
As for my friends, of course she contacted that person and they will meet soon enough. I hope it all goes well for her but I have my doubts.
What about you?
Do you agree with me? Do you think closure is real?
Leave a comment and prove me wrong
[though I like it more when ppl agree with me :D ]
