I'm not an overthinker, but I can't say I'm all laid back either. I'm a pretty chilled person in general, so I am not someone who overthinks a lot. However, when it comes to something I'm sensitive about, I tend to overthink, For example, feedback from my clients. More so, I have this automated voice in my head that calms me down whenever I'm overthinking especially on things I have no control over. In general, though, I can say I'm pretty laid back in most circumstances.
Something crazy happened to me during my final years. As usual, we were required to work on our final-year project. My supervisor, a strict man, instructed us to do it ourselves and monitor us closely from chapter to chapter. I love doing things myself, so that wasn't a big deal at first until he started giving me a hard time. I knew it was for the best, so I put a lot of effort into it, that he even noticed. Eventually, I was able to finish and start printing my project.
When it was time to present. We were given only two days, Tuesday and Friday. Because my supervisor was so strict, none of his supervisees were able to present on Tuesday. Fortunately for me, I managed to finish and print out my project on Thursday, hoping I would be able to present. I went to his office on Thursday but he told me to come on Friday morning and that he would make sure I was present.
Friday finally came. I woke up very early and rushed down to school to get his final approval. I got to his office and he took my project glanced only through my acknowledgement threw my project at me and asked me to get out of his sight. My eyes became heavy as I struggled to pick up the scattered pages from the floor. I was so embarrassed.
I left determined. I corrected and reprinted the project. I hastened to his office hopefully but my hope was shattered when he told me to get out of his office without even checking my corrections. He added “You can't defend today. I was disappointed or rather, pissed as I left his office. Then That still, small automated voice came to me again “You have done your best, you can't kill yourself, what will be will be.”
I went to the library, feeling better. I decided to go through my project again, just in case anything happened. At that moment, I was just going with the flow.
After a while, I went out to get something to snack on he saw me walking down the hallway, he called me and said I wasn’t serious with my life. To my surprise, He asked me to bring my project and finally attended to me.
I was so indifferent. The anxiety and readiness in me were already watered down. After he accepted my project, he still pointed out how nonchalant and incompetent I was. he expected me to still wait outside his office the entire time. I was too stressed to even access his statement but I was glad I got it over with.
One thing I would never do is to stress or overthink things I have no control over. I'd rather pray and leave everything in God's hands. “I can't come and kill myself.”
This is my entry to Hive Naija weekly prompt | edition 84.
This is quite long and I appreciate you for reading till the end. Thanks for visiting my blog ❤️✨
All images are mine
