Life isn't a bed of roses, I'm sure we all agree. There are times we would just wish for things to go our way but reverse is the case. There are times we are just willing to fight back at life for throwing unpleasant situations on our path which we would have no choice but to deal with. All these are part of what makes living as a human fun and interesting, many give up on the way to success, some reach that peak of their success but can't manage it, and some lose even before they try. Irrespective of the stage you fall into, the most important thing is that when there is life, there is hope.
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I have made resolutions to start on a clean sheet several times but I found myself back where I said I didn't want to be, doing what I promised myself not to do. This always makes me question myself countless times about "who I am" but then I think changing from who I've always been won't be an easy thing to do. I am someone who holds back on many things that I should have acted fast on but because I believe the saying that "patience is a virtue", I do take my time before I react to things.
Last week, I had a conversation with a friend named Annie on her perspective on life, and most of the things she said to me got me thinking since then I have seen more reasons to live your own life and be who you truly are, one need to start on a clean sheet with the people in one's life. Peace of mind comes with you being yourself, not trying to change for anybody because in the end you will be left alone. Some believe they have to change to who people want them to be because of some reasons best known to them but I have come to the understanding that being on the good side of everyone only increases one's enemies.
Annie narrated to me how her last relationship ended, the challenges she faced, and how her ex-boyfriend always took advantage of her kindness. During the conversation, I was angry at myself for allowing myself to go through some undeserved punishment under the disguise of kindness. "What you don't want, you don't watch but it took me time to realize this", Annie started. "I always want to be in everyone's good book and being naive makes me vulnerable to different attacks", she continued. When she said this, I had to ask myself, "Was that being naive or stupidity", then I continued listening to her.
"Do you know I once collected a loan for my ex-boyfriend?" she asked me, I was surprised to hear that and I replied, "I'm just hearing this because you are just telling me, but wait, why will you go to that extent?", I asked Annie. "I guess love makes one do crazy things", she said and another question popped up in my mind, "is that love?", I asked myself. "I collected the loan worth #40,000 on one of my banking apps and I gave it to him because he told me he needed money urgently that day. But to my surprise, you are not going to believe what happened ", Annie said and I was anxiously waiting for her to continue.
"I don't want to believe what I'm thinking is right", I said to her. Annie laughed and said, "Whatever it is you are thinking, if it's not right, it is sure close". "Then tell me please because I want to know", I said adjusting my seat closer to hers. "This is the kind of thing you like listening to", Annie said laughing hysterically. "Call me aproko (pokenoser), I don't mind, I just want to know what happened," I said impatiently."He used the money to place a bet on one of these football betting applications and at the end of the day, he lost", Annie said looking straight into my eyes."Holy Jesus!, I shouted and wrap my hands on my head, he did what", I asked in shock.
"Anyways when the time came for me to pay the loaned money, I told him and asked him to pay up then his reply put me off and from that day onward, I knew he was the wrong one for me", Annie continued. "What was his response please", I asked impatiently, at this time, I had lost my cool. "You are a big girl, you can fix that now so fix it my baby", that was his response, Annie said and busted into laughter. I opened my mouth wide and was wondering," Is that even a human being?". "You no shock reach me that day (you are not as shocked as I was that day), Annie said after seeing my reaction and the look on my face.
"So after that day my dear, I come to realise that my kindness and the love I had for him was being taken for granted and I had to cut off the relationship and begin my life on a clean sheet", Annie said concluding our discussion. "You have to begin on a clean sheet as you said my dear everyone of us has to begin on a clean sheet, including myself. I can't let my kindness be taken for granted anymore, and from now henceforth, I will just be myself and not try to please anyone", I said as I stood up to pick up my phone which I had plugged for charging since the beginning of our conversation.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.
