The month of sacrifice and self-correction is just around the corner— and as always, we will jump on the activities that are prescribed to strengthen our “Faith” towards the Almighty, enlighten our soul, and make arrangements for a shiny afterlife so we can chill!
I’m not kidding— this happens to most Muslim folks during Ramadan and when it ends, life moves at its own known pace.
So, how’s the preparation going? Talking about myself, I started going to the mosque last week and the practice lasted for 2 days. Then— Memisopheles whispered something into my ears and my mind started procrastinating when the sound of Azan pierces through the concrete wall but stops right before my heart— it’s too cold to respond to the call of purification. I’m not proud of this and sometimes I feel like I will be nuked when my body will be left in the 3 and ½ feet room— so dark that I wouldn’t be able to see my own fingers— so close to my dearest ones yet so ignored, so feared!
How’ll I survive there? Who will be my side to pat on my back and say, relax— what are you bothered about, it will be over soon.
I know there will be none but the insects— bursting with joy, celebrating death, crawling up on my body, and preparing to feast on my remains.
I have always feared millipedes, ew— they are so gross, moving here and there during the rainy season with a shiny red outfit and two busy sensory antennas. What if there are plenty of them, entering my nose, standing on my forehead with half of the body raised like a snake or that of a meerkat— looking for other mates in an open desert.
What if there are snakes— a lot of it— okay, let’s reduce my sufferings, let’s assume there is only one— armed with a pitch-black oily but scaly skin, two curvy and sharp fangs, a long, cylindrical and deeply forked tongue— hissing and creating fear among the other living entities.
No problem— snakes cannot cause fear in my heart; it’s strong— it reinforces my guts by pumping blood hard when I meet one.
Alas! My heart won’t beat then.
No more blood pumping, no more support to my guts— ah, what’s happening, I can’t move but the snake is approaching. I cannot see anything but its hissing sound— it’s so close, so clear to my ears. I can sense its ugly face, poisonous breathing— all approaching to wrap around my body. Somebody help me!
There you are— suddenly I hear the voice, Nah, the hissing stops, I can hear the snake retreating to the darkness.
Phew— you saved me. Many thanks but I cannot see you in the dark; show me yourself.
Patience— you know nothing about it. Neither you did when you were alive nor do you know now even when you are dead. Only if you were patient back there— there would have light now, a light that removes fear, darkness, and uncertainty. A light that comforts, soothes the heart, and brings peace within.
Let it go— tell me something, answer me some questions—
My voice trembles.
My voice— so strong back there, so pleasant to people's ears, where are they now, why can’t I speak, why I am uttering nothing but absolute gibberish— what spell did you cast on me, who are you?
Silence, it’s so dominant in the room, not more than my size— 3 feet & ½
It’s so silent.
Nobody says anything.
Nobody should say anything— Nakir and Munkar are supposed to ask those questions, nothing else.
Suddenly there’s light, light coming from an enormous fireplace— it’s so hot, so hot that melts the skin, yet, I am alive. All that I can feel is eternal suffering, untold miseries.
[Peace to you]
[all content is mine unless otherwise stated]
