(A piece of advice to every brave scholar who are studying outside the comfort of their home country)
But wait up.. Breathe for a while. I am not trying to put off your patronus here. As a matter of fact, this might just ignite some fighting spirit that you never though hid behind your long calluses of academic labor. This international education, this going-abroad-are-you-crazy experience will change you. I swear, I was there… I am there.
However, as exhilarating as it sounds, there are tough encounters ahead. You are all smiling and excited facing this huge opportunity and all of the sudden you’re hit by a snowball of reality straight in the face and you’d see how terrifying it is. So this blog post is to tell you, straight-faced, no concealments, how difficult yet humbling my journey as an international student in a foreign land. I hope it will help you prepare.
1. The Language
With English being the second language of my country, I thought I would not have any problem with language. I can talk to anyone, convey my message, make transactions, and process papers with ease. Afterall, English is the international language and I speak the language. But boy oh boy, was I stressed and frustrated? After I arrived in my country of destination, very few can speak English. Except of course in my University but outside, in the mall, in small “tokos” (stores), I felt helpless. I remember one time, I had to buy a bottle of 1500 mL water in a small store outside the place I first stayed in and it took me 10 minutes to convey what I wanted. I thought being able to speak English is an advantage, it turned out, and it’s only an advantage when you are in an English-speaking country and in my case… I kind of have to re-acquaint my tongue to another language. So tip number 1, learn the language. It took me months to finally gain the courage to learn the language (I was not forced to take formal classes for it since my subjects are taught in English). I make conversations and engage in casual small talks and in no time I realized how my tongue found its ease in speaking their language. I am far from expert but having learned to engage in conversations has upped the scale of relationships I have with those around me. I can now say proper goodbyes to the staff in the offices and can now fluently convey my gratitude to the Ibu (Old Lady) in the store. It will take a while but make sure to put effort on it.
2. The Culture
I am all down to the idea of embracing the diverse cultures and traditions as I am from a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural country. I am one for tolerance and respect for each other’s differences and belief systems but I found out that other quirks are bordering to annoying and I had to embrace that cactus the tightest possible as it is part of their “culture”. This is not to degrade or put dirt on the country that I am in now, as the people here are the kindest, most polite, and most generous people I’ve met but still some quirks irk me. Example: People here feel very awkward discussing money and I understand how money is a difficult thing to discuss but in here, people find it unbelievably awkward. Maybe I’m too used to the frankness of Filipinos, to the straight-faced statements like “How much will I get for this?”, but setting that aside and having been able to validate my observation with other foreign students in here, money is not to be brought up in casual talks; it is not easily raised as a topic; it is not an interlude after hows-you-day spiels. And for a student whose pockets are close to empty, whose hook hangs on a scholarship, money should be clearly laid down. Or you’d rather sit back and not know that in the next month you’ll be starving. So with that said be sure to be ready to be flown out of your usual cup of tea. As there may be some quirks that will get in your nerves but there will be more in the jar that will make you smile, will humble you down, and will leave you slack-jawed in amazement.
3. The Shift
As if you are transported to another alternate universe, you’ll feel confused as hell. I am telling you it would be the most sudden shift you’ll feel. It’s like you just rode a plane and after you landed, you are surrounded by alien-speaking people and you are stripped by the comfort of your friends, of your bed, and of your favorite coffee shops. The excitement will kind of go on a flat-line and all you’ll feel is the panic to feel comfortable, to blend in. My first day, I wanted to eat their traditional food and try their local cafes (What a coffee lover like me would look forward to). And so I ate their food, drank their traditional drink and tried engaging like a local and all I ended up doing was comparing every oddity to what Philippines has, to what I’m comfortable to. So listen up and let this sink in: You will be in a foreign land and you must allow that shift to take over your life, shatter your expectations, and live with what’s left. Almost everything may seem odd, uncomfortable, and unfit to your taste but this part of the world does not exist for you- You exist in it so accept and live with it or else you’ll find yourself in a merry-go-ride of unending frustrations. Let go and Let in.
4. Arm up
We are not off to war but emotionally, this whole studying-abroad shit will kind of make you wish you had armed up (more). Be prepared for the tears as they will flow, in rivers maybe in the most lonely nights, they’d be oceans of fat tears. Your eyes will leak them out, maybe not in the airport as you bid your goodbyes to your loved ones, but maybe in the coldness of your room, the emptiness of your social tank, or perhaps the pressure of post-graduate studies. So be ready to cry and to wipe your own tears. You’ll receive no pats but from yourself, no hugs but from your pillow, and no actual warmth but from the virtual kisses you get from Facetime and Whatsapp. Be used to missing the latest news about your friend, and be okay with feeling helpless when your bestfriend is crying over a messy break-up. You will be victims of all these emotional onslaughts and raise up your head and shield yourself. This is an anticipated pain but it will not last. You will arm up and you’ll know that every blow is calculated so there won’t be much that affects you anymore.
5. And lastly, Enjoy!
I know you might have packed with you some of your most cherished notes from your classes before and you’re already stressing for a clearer direction for your research. And it’s okay to feel the need to be ready for the first course work in your list but please, find time to enjoy. You are in a place you haven’t been to so milk it. Enjoy the sceneries, appreciate the culture, and learn to communicate with its local people. Jog around the village and try to make bridges with the people around you. You’ll see that there are more things worth thanking for, than the frustrations piling high.
No one will probably admit that going abroad to study is one of the saddest and longest years in their lives but many would dwell on how much they changed and on how much the place stole pages of their books and those pages are pages they would want to re-read again and again.
So pack up, then! Your life is about to be changed.
