I need a job!

To Mr. F:

Dear Sir, in charge of Human Resources of this distinguished company.

Greetings.

I am writing to you to apply for the job of housekeeper. I know that this wonderful company is composed of serious, responsible and respectable people. Therefore, I am sure that my person, aptitudes and excellent attitude are the most qualified and indicated for this job.

Below you will find my personal information, photo and a GIF that shows the quality of my work.

Name; purpleglitter.
Age: 33; but I say 27.
Marital status: fighting with my husband.
Legal status: police report says "ok".

Skills and requests for my work to be optimal:

• I pour water in a glass perfectly 🥤

• I'm not a gossip, unless needed 🤫

• I wash pots so well, it will always sit fresh 🚽

• My tea is special, it's strong with water 🍵

• I sleep better if my colleagues are silent 😴

• I am satisfied with 4 vacations a year 🏄🏻♀️

• My pay can be brought forward 💵

• I laugh a lot, so they'll always be happy 😄

• I'm good at playing... 🎲 Monopoly.

• I have a little drinking problem, but with a drink I get over it 🍸

• The bank gave me a week to get out of the house 🏠

• My mood depends on the moon 🌙

• I'm not on time, but I will go 🏃🏻‍♀️

I am confident that hiring me will ensure the best future and service for the company and its exclusive clients. I can guarantee that I will not let you down. You will never regret your decision. I look forward to your prompt response to my request.

Sincerely yours: purpleglitter 💜

Ms. purpleglitter, please, for the third time understand WE DO NOT NEED HOUSEKEEPER. Stop writing to us.

Sincerely yours: Wine Company.