I was not so sure whether I am going to write this post or not, I was confused thinking that is it okay to share some usual or hurt feelings thoughts, is it okay to write? After smoking two cigarettes constantly, I decided I should write. I know this is a bad habit but I just needed something. I know there is no value for certain emotions, feelings because either people will think you weak or fool. I know I have written these words before but I needed to write something, at least to start this post.
I am holding so many emotions inside me for a very long time, my close people told me to forget and move forward. I tried, I moved forward bt somehow today I felt I am still tucked at that moment. I have got so much hate from people, directly indirectly, people bullied me, harassed me in fact used me in several ways, and threw me into the garbage when the work is done. One of the facts that always bother me is when people questioned me about my ability. I don't like comparison and I don't like it when people judge me knowing what is my capability.
Let me share a small story. Once upon a time, I asked someone to do me a favor, a help. I considered that individual safe, basically I trusted that person. And as usual, the reply was harsh, I was told that that guy can't take any chance for me. Anyway, I moved on with a lesson. I came into this world alone and I have to survive here alone. But I didn't forget those harsh words, a little help which I sought for. And now when that same individual text me for a favor, how should I react...
Ya, Karma is a Bitch...
This is just a short story, there are many...I saw the jealousy of people and how their jealousy f**ked my life. I saw ungrateful people who never said a simple thank you instead. I don't need to prove myself, my honestly because I know myself. Someone told me once that if 10 people tell/denote you worse than you are worse. Well, I don't believe in it because it doesn't matter how people justify me or judge me, as long as I am honest with myself.
Because my analysis told me only ungrateful, unfaithful, and unthankful people will judge you on the basis of your life and capability. Those who know you as a person know who you are and what kind of person you are...Jealousy is something that destroys an individual just like pride.
I wish I never met those people, I wish I never digest those jealous activities silently, I wish I spoke out loudly...
Maybe I am feeling too overwhelming now, it will go away I know. Sometimes holding emotions inside the soul is really bad, soul cries, better either to speak out or write....
And I know...One day you will get it what you deserve...
Karma is only a bitch if you are....
Love
Priyan
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