Do you realize how the very things you end up caring about most are the ones that can hurt you the most? The average adult probably understands what I'm trying to say here because you've experienced it at some point.
The moment you begin to care a lot, actually putting in your time, your energy, and most of all your feelings and emotions into something, you essentially give up the control to that thing and that thing or person has power to destroy you (from a pessimistic point of view). We can try to be optimistic but you can never be too careful in life so you might as well set guardrails for yourself.
The secret inspirational and motivational speakers rarely share with their audience is that caring comes at a price and the price is your own peace of mind some times.
Of course, you need to care about certain things in life, yourself, your loved ones, your career and goals but everything must be done in moderation because, if too much of everything is bad, it doesn't exempt the good or virtuous things in life.
You could give yourself wholeheartedly to a relationship and it could go both ways, good or bad. You'll be lucky if you land a loyal partner but you cannot guarantee it.
When you work in a company as an employee, when you are part of a group, a team or system, it's morally good to give your all and sacrifice for the good of that which you joined.
But you shouldn't do that without security or protection or at least sparing a thought for yourself and answering the question, what happens to me when this goes sideways, Southside our blows up and hurts me in the process?
What happens to me when this person I'm in a relationship with decides to break up? What happens when this company lays me off? What happens when this person betrays me?
You shouldn't live life suspecting everything will turn out bad, otherwise you wouldn't have the courage to do things or join missions that can actually turn out good for you, but at least, be prepared in your heart and mind for the effect of caring too much.
When you don't care too much, some might actually see it as you not participating enough or you being cold, detached and infact even heartless.
It's not necessarily about being careless but more about doing it in moderation and selectively.
Give your heart to the one you love but keep a spare just in case they break it. You would say, I don't have two hearts, metaphorically, but you could actually have that.
You can care, but have at the back of your mind that people can change and turn against you.
Not caring too much is a safe zone. It's more like constructing walls so high nobody can climb over them.
The main question is not whether or not caring too much is going to kill you, it may, at some point.
The real question is, what things are worth killing yourself for?
Not every war is worth giving your heart to, not everybody is worth your undying loyalty and not everything is worth losing sleep over. You need to carefully choose which to make yourself vulnerable to.
So I'm not saying become a selfish, careless, self centered beast, but prioritize the things that matters most to you.
For me, I've have learned to tell the difference between caring because it matters, and caring because I don't want to be judged if I don't. Learning the difference will save you from so much unnecessary pain.
You need to find out whether you really care about something or you're just a people pleaser.
Caring is part of what makes us human and it's how we connect with each other and how we learn. If you don't care about something, you wouldn't make the effort to understand it or get better at it but if you're going to give your peace, your energy, your heart away, please give it to something or someone that's worthy of the bruises.
Love is not only sweet, it's bitter too, because it hurts more when the person who let you down or betrayed you is someone you love.
When you care, the care makes you vulnerable, so care about what's worth caring for and that can change your life positively.
