Many times we tell people to stop a particular habit that we consider bad for one reason or the other but without really asking them why they do it or helping them look for solutions that could help them stop it.
Yesterday, I had spoken at length with a friend of mine who ever since I've known him, has always been high/drunk at least 75% of the time. If he's not smoking weed, he's drinking alcohol. This guy is probably one of the nicest and down to earth person that I've known since I got to this school and that was what drew me close to him, his kindness.
I had asked him why and he had told me that getting high is his only way of dealing with depression. Apparently, he has been dealing with depression for a while now and unless he's around his friends who help him forget, he tend to look for something else that gives him happiness (temporary happiness in this case).
Initially I was going to try to talk him out of that habit or at least try, but the moment he mentioned depression, I realized it was way more serious than I had thought.
You see, I've come to realize that most times, people tend to focus on the problem and not the solution. They ask you to stop a habit without really telling you how to.
As we all know, a habit isn't something that just can be turned off like the flick of a switch, it takes time and a good solution, something for that person to do to keep their minds occupied and not think about that habit.
I remember one time when someone I had met at an online platform was talking about his problem with masturbation and telling people to stop it, he had told us that the way he had stopped his was by minimizing his alone time. He kept himself busy with work and was always in the midst of his family and friends... and although it took some time, he eventually got over it.
You see, he didn't just ask the people to stop, he told them how they could stop by using himself as an example and explaining to them how he had stopped his.
If we take that approach when trying to help people stop a habit, instead of just criticising them and asking them to stop, there will lots of progress because now he or she knows what to do.
As for my friend, seeing how he doesn't get depressed when he's around people, then I think the best thing for him to do is hangout with people more and just find a way to keep himself busy with work or something creative whenever he's alone. Hopefully that way, his mind gets busy and has no time to think about depressing thoughts.