I set a record!
First of all, I want to thank everyone who shared their 'first week/month on the job' experiences with me! It helped me put things into perspective. That being said...
Alright, from the top. A few months ago, I found a job opening which seemed to hold a good challenge for me while still holding some familiar territory. I was still recovering from being overworked (although, let's call it for what we discovered it definitely was now: A big, fudging burnout. Again). I wanted this job, so I applied, but told them I had to take a few months to recover first. I got those months and took things slow. By the end of it, I felt good, I felt ready! I was excited about the job and started it a week ago on monday. Filled with good hope.
By the end of monday, I had a headache and was tired as heck.
Tuesday, second chance. I could not concentrate most of the day and by the end of it, I started wondering if this was 'normal', or if it was more than just the 'stress of a new job'.
Thursday then! Third time's the charm, right? No. Full head, no concentration and by the end of that day, I was wondering what the heck I had gotten myself into.
Weekend came and I talked with mum and hubby about this. I thought and I thought and by the end of it, I was kinda sure it was more than just the new job stress thing.
Then it was monday. Today. I went to work again. Tried my best again. Managed to concentrate some of the time and read a bit, but still, my head felt full. Cloudy. Dizzy. In the afternoon I had a chat with my boss and told her everything. She wasn't surprised and had basically seen me regress by the end of the first day.
We talked a bit, but both agreed I wouldn't be able to get there anytime fast, even if she gave me some extra help. We both believed in my abilities, but my head's just not working right. Basically, that 'overworked' (big, fat burnout) thing from my last job hit me harder than I ever realised.
So! After day four, I'm jobless again! Fastest they'd seen.
Hey, atleast I'm good at something!
I will now proceed to prohibit myself from looking at any kind of job offers. LinkedIn e-mails are OFF and I'm going to try my best to give myself a big, fat break for the rest of this year. Which is so very hard for me, because I feel like I should do something. I'm already wondering what the heck I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life, given that my brain is the thing I've always managed to depend on most.
For now, I'm going to have to try and let it all go. Take it easy, do things I enjoy and relax. I hope I'll manage and I'm sure hubby and mum will be reminding me.
Atleast there's one upside...: All the time in the world for New World!
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