Growing up I found myself always wanting to fit among my peers and those older than me. I wanted to belong the pressure was so intense. I didn't want to feel left out so I always mimicked whatever I saw them doing. This involves engaging in unhealthy things, though I didn't accept all, I lacked the boldness and wisdom to reject all uncultured activities. At one point, I even bullied someone to prove myself, but thank God I made an amend and we later became friends.
We often hung out, discussing various foolish things, it was mainly with guys and a few girls in my street. They did all sorts of things but I was just in their midst laughing and absorbing things that wouldn't help me in life. Despite being brought up well, I began following people who were detrimental to my well-being. Moreover, they were the people around me and we grew up together, so separating from them was so difficult.
It wasn't until my mom spoke some senses into me, confronting me about the cycle I was moving with, she did a whole lecture and stated how she has been seeing some changes in me. Reflecting on her words and the consequences that might befall me if I continued to move with my set of friends. I recognize the importance of being myself and also the value of the way I was brought up. After the awakening, I made the difficult decision to break free from my toxic friendship.
It wasn't an easy decision I took and my friends were adamant knowing what happened that I wasn't reaching out to them again. They visited consecutive times to inquire what they did wrong but I just shovel them off because I have tried advising some but it seems pointless. They were shocked that I could leave their group and the lifestyle and I too was shocked. It got to a point where a boyfriend came and wanted to talk me into coming back. I used a broom to beat the hell out of him, anywhere he sees me he's always calling me names that I am wicked and a witch馃槃. I have never been happier when I dealt with him. I always told them I had no connections with them anyone or the lifestyle I had lived but they didn't seem to get me.
As I let go of the negative part of my life I started discovering my new potential it was all thanks to my parents and a wonderful woman I met. She started a fellowship in my dad's house, she brought love to me, and gave me great and awesome and God-fearing friends. I discovered my talents through the fellowship I also took over whenever she wasn't around. I was so happy and everything was working perfectly for me. When I was still living that wayward lifestyle I was shy I wasn't bold and when I broke out I became fearless, a leader, I had this uniqueness in me.
Today, I am grateful for the lessons learned during my journey, they shaped my life and added meaning to my existence. else I would have fallen by the wayside. Witnessing the consequences faced by my former peers, especially the ladies, reinforces my gratitude for choosing a different path. I no longer allow others' expectations to define me, embracing my individuality and the values that guide my life.
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